


The Stars That Guide Us

by CollectorOfWonder



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Alien Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Destroy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mass Effect 3 spoilers, Post-Mass Effect: Andromeda, Swearing, Xenophilia, mass effect: andromeda spoilers, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:22:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CollectorOfWonder/pseuds/CollectorOfWonder
Summary: The battle for Meridian may be over, but the war is still out there whether the Nexus leadership wants to believe it is or not. Sara Ryder prepares for the future not just as Pathfinder but a leader in her own right, determined not to let her people relive mistakes of the past, or to let her own mistakes ruin their chances for a future. Forging a new and stronger alliance with the Angaran people will take time and patience, but now that she and the Resistance leader Evfra de Tershaav finally see eye to eye, it may be easier......or far more complicated than she'd imagined.
Relationships: Evfra de Tershaav/Female Ryder | Sara
Comments: 43
Kudos: 68





	1. Solitude

**Author's Note:**

> No idea how often this will update, as I still have the ongoing behemoth of my Dragon Age: Inquisition story to wrangle. But I played through ME: Andromeda (and the original trilogy finally) and I have a blue alien grump on the brain, so here you go.
> 
> Slow burn is slow. Rated for eventual smut so you know what you're in for and don't get hoodwinked if that's not your jam. I'll tag any smut chapters in notes ahead of time, as well.

Evfra de Tershaav sought one thing, and one thing only, with his usual single-minded determination: solitude. 

The opportunity rarely presented itself to the Resistance leader, especially not on Aya. Occasionally on board a vessel between outposts, he could find time to lock the door and simply think, but solitude was not a common desire among his people. Though the Voeld-born tended to be a little more self-sufficient and restrained than their cousins, Angara in general preferred to find comfort and solace in each other. 

Even as a child, Evfra had always been a little different, a little more adventurous, a little more daring. Always willing to strike out on his own away from the comfort of his family hub, from the warmth of the daar. Always wanting to find out more, find out what was next, do things better than others, never satisfied with what was. 

Until he no longer had a choice. 

_ The silent embrace of the cold and the darkness was at first a burden, then simply the way of things, better than the sounds of his enemies and the screams of… _

Well. He preferred solitude. 

Others who had lost families had been folded into others, absorbed into the ever open arms of their communities. At least, those who had been located soon. Others...it did not usually sit will with Angara to be so isolated from each other. Some were not able to cope with it and remain sane, and those few required additional care. 

For Evfra, his anger had sustained him, and his determination. He’d been tempted, offered a place in a Techiix family, but his fury was too raw. He would hurt them. Or they would be taken, and he knew...he knew he could not survive that pain twice. 

Over the years, it had become a perversely comfortable habit to keep everyone at arm’s length. It was war, and with the decisions he had to make daily, he could not afford to grow attached to anyone. The pain would do no one any good. 

It confused and sometimes offended others, though there were those who seemed to take it as a personal challenge, like Jaal. Evfra had retaliated in giving him the most menial and irritating of tasks, watching in amusement as the Havarlan poorly masked his frustrations. Still, it had been for Jaal’s own good, though he would admit it rankled a little to see one of his best fighters blossom and grow not under his own leadership, but that of the human Pathfinder. 

The small child that he had once been, that died in spirit on Voeld beneath the near-smothering, protective mass of his mothers’ dead bodies...that child had once had the temerity to dream of such an alliance. The creators of the Remnant technology, perhaps, returned to save them from the Kett and the Scourge. He led his cousins -  _ screams, crying, the sounds of bones crunching, the echoing call of the word he knew meant “unworthy” _ \- in games of what he called Space Heroes. 

But there were no heroes. No allies. No saviors. They were alone. 

Until they were not. Even then, the strange species showing up disheveled, dirty, half-mad on Kadara were hardly worthy allies. They were simply one more problem, and one he was content to let the Roekaar worry over, until the Roekaar started pulling too many of his own potential recruits. 

Yet the day the ship called the  _ Tempest _ nearly crash-landed on Aya...that had changed things. He hadn’t believed it, hadn’t wanted to, but…

Late. She was too late. Twenty years too late. 

None of what churned in the dark corners of his mind was rational, he knew, which was why he steadfastly ignored it. The thought would have horrified Jaal or any other Havarlan, and even bothered his fellow, more reserved Voeldaan. Angara, whatever their background, viewed burying emotions as unhealthy, with some even clinging to the superstition that it caused illness and disease. 

But there was no way to outwardly deal with his irrational anger toward the Pathfinder and her Initiative without compromising the alliance at worst and causing a diplomatic incident at best. What could he say?  _ I hate you because you were not there when they all died. _ Nevermind the fact that she would have been in stasis in dark space, unknowingly flying toward the fate that awaited them in the Heleus Cluster.  _ You should have come then, or not at all. _ Was that what he wanted to say? 

_You saved others, but not me. Jaal’s family, but not mine. Helped the Moshae with her pain, but...not me. Not my pain. I couldn’t save them. I needed help. Where were you then, Pathfinder?_ _Where is your cheer now, your steadfast determination to succeed? So miraculous to others, why has it not...why can I not let go…_

_ I do not need a savior. _

_ But that does not keep me from wanting one.  _

He looked up at the strange Meridian sky, the Remnant sphere echoing what the Moshae confirmed was their surrounding system. Not transparent, but an exact replica, displayed on the internal holographic atmospheric generators. He understood some of what she said, having studied with her for a time, but a lot of it was frankly beyond his comprehension. 

The light from the nebula was reflected in scattered ponds, along with the soft emergency lighting glow along the hull of the massive  _ Hyperion _ . He wouldn’t leave the perimeter of the ship, largely because even his excellent night vision only got him so far, but he sought the very edge of it. 

Lost in his thoughts as he was, he nearly failed to recognize the dimly lit profile of the Pathfinder before he stumbled upon the clearing she’d evidently claimed. He stilled his already quiet tread, pausing to see if she’d picked up on his approach. She sat still beneath the stars, seated on a flat rock, her oddly jointed legs folded up in front of her in a manner he’d seen other humans sit upon a flat surface before, and her arms extended outward with the backs of her palms resting upon her knees. A flicker of blue light bounced from one palm to the other, and he felt something push and pull gently at his bioelectrics, though not with the same insistence and intrusion as another Angara’s field. This was more of a gentle distortion of the signal, giving him a slight fluttering feeling as though jumping or moving at high speed. 

Biotics, they called it. The ability to affect the fabric of gravitational pull and mass on a micro scale, caused by exposure to what they termed Element Zero. As he understood it, it was technology centered around this element that allowed them to cross deep space, that connected clusters across their own galaxy for near immediate travel, folding and rearranging space to suit their needs with something called Mass Relays. Biotic abilities manifested in several of the Milky Way species, as he understood it, but was rare and sometimes dangerous in humans as it was essentially a genetic mutation, and carried with it the health risks such implied. 

He knew from Jaal’s reports and recorded footage that the Pathfinder had biotic abilities, though not as strong as her second in command, the human woman called Cora Harper, and both of them were dwarfed by the innate abilities of their Asari companion whom Jaal affectionately called Peebee. Naturally, at least: it seemed with her SAM implant, Ryder could effectively amplify her biotic ability on a short term scale. 

Lit from the reflection of her power and the soft orange running lights on the Hyperion, the young human woman’s face appeared serene and calm. It was a stark contrast to its usual animation, though he’d witnessed Ryder hard-faced and impassive before. Yet it was always two extremes with her: emotion as clear in her expression as though she was broadcasting through an electromagnetic field like an Angaran, or completely devoid of emotion and coldly logical. Rarely had he seen her...relaxed, like this. 

Despite his illogical and unfair emotional reaction to this strange creature, Evfra had come to admire her capability and intelligence as a warrior and a leader. When he could separate his anger from his mind for a time, he even found himself liking the Pathfinder, almost wanting to talk to her as a colleague and equal. It was difficult for him to speak to anyone about his concerns as Resistance leader, but Ryder seemed to intrinsically understand. 

No, that was nonsense. How could anyone understand? 

_ The weight of bodies. Safe, wasn’t he safe? No, they weren’t moving. Mother! Mother, where are you? Open eyes but unseeing. Snow stained the dark of midnight with blood.  _

For a moment, the Pathfinder’s power flickered between her fingers and her expression fell into one of almost infinite sadness. As though her face mirrored the bleakness of his memories...but no, she could not read minds, or sense bioelectric fields, even with her AI’s assistance. No, whatever sorrow held her was her own. It seemed heavy, for one so young. The weight of her six hundred years in stasis somehow hung on her shoulders, even if it hadn’t lined her face like other humans he’d seen. 

Distracted, he brushed up against a patch of small stones and the sound of it against the fabric of his foot covering was loud enough in the silent night. The Pathfinder’s power flickered out and she opened her eyes, schooling her expression so quickly he might have imagined what he’d seen. She blinked at him, pale blue eyes almost silvery in the reflected light, almost Angaran. “Evfra,” she said. “Are you looking for me? I must have missed the message. I’m sorry to make you come all the way out here, if so.”

Ryder made to stand up but he waved her off. “No, Pathfinder. I apologize for disturbing you. I was simply looking for a little quiet. Please return to...whatever it was you were doing.” 

She smiled slightly. “Meditating. It helps control the headaches.” 

He frowned at her. “Headaches?”

“From the biotics,” she explained, though it wasn’t much of an explanation. His expression must have said as much. She motioned for him to take a seat on another nearby rock, similar to the one she perched upon. “Humans don’t come by biotic ability naturally.”

Evfra nodded. “So Jaal informed me.” 

“My mother spent her life developing neural implants that would assist humans in safely channeling and utilizing their biotic abilities. Without them, those affected were subjected to any number of horrifyingly painful and debilitating conditions. The first few generations of implants were rushed and flawed. My mother made it her mission to develop some that were not intrusive and more effective at managing the physical side effects. Her research was the foundation on which my father built the SAM implants.”

“I had not realized your father played a role in the development of your AI.”

“ _ Alec Ryder was my creator, General de Tershaav. He built my code as well as the implants. _ ” SAM’s voice floated up through the night air from Ryder’s omnitool. 

Ryder smiled, an echo of that sadness from earlier flitting across her face, or so he imagined. He supposed he shouldn’t assume he could read her as well as he thought. “Your father created the AI himself?”

“Yeah,” Ryder affirmed. “I suppose you could call SAM a sibling of sorts, as he wouldn’t exist as efficiently as he does without the work of my mother’s implants.”

“ _ Or without your own perspective and input, Sara. I am as much a product of you, now. _ ”

“Family effort, then, SAM.” 

_ “Agreed, Pathfinder.” _

Evfra stored this information for analysis later. The Ryder family was apparently more important than he’d understood, if the father’s work had formed the entire basis by which the Initiative functioned. The AI was the only reason they’d been able to so successfully interface with the Remnant technology, and had been the key to the downfall of the Archon. “That doesn’t explain the headaches,” Evfra pointed out. “Is it caused by your implant, then?”

She shook her head. “No, the implant helps alleviate it, but as I understand it, my neural tissue is a little more sensitive to gravitational shifts. It takes a while for me to adjust when there’s even a slight difference in gravitation. On board a ship, it isn’t noticeable, but planetside, it still takes a bit. SAM helps as much as he dares, and meditation takes care of the rest.” She smiled again. “Dunno if you’ve noticed, but my brain’s taken a bit of a beating lately.” 

Evfra snorted, swallowing back the retort that nearly sprang to his lips. He opted for diplomacy instead, though he was rather rusty. Still, Paraan would’ve been proud. “Your efforts are more than appreciated, Pathfinder. I hope you recover well.” 

Ryder narrowed her eyes. “See, you being nice to me just makes me think I’m still unconscious.” 

“If your unconscious mind is only capable of conjuring me being nice to you, perhaps your wits are more addled than your doctors believe.” 

She grinned. “Ah, there you are. I was worried for a moment.” 

Evfra snorted again. He should leave the Pathfinder to it, but found himself reluctant to move. It was peaceful out here on the edge of the light, and the rustling sounds of a gentle breeze through the vegetation was calming. He was more tired than he thought, he supposed. The thought of getting up from his seat and resuming his search sounded exhausting. 

Meanwhile, Ryder had resumed a form of her exercises. She had picked up a few leaves and small yellow flowers and was now gently swirling them around in a pattern in mid-air. He found himself watching in fascination with this delicate and almost tender side of a power he’d only witnessed in brutal combat. 

The sphere of dancing foliage grew wider and he could see from her expression that it grew more difficult to maintain fine control. He watched the leaves swirl, and an idle thought occurred to him. If the vegetation here was part of the same technology and genetic makeup as the rest of the Jardaan’s remnants…

Fine control of one’s bioelectrics was taught from infancy. Over the years, Evfra had honed his to a finely balanced weapon in combat. It helped offset his smaller height compared to others and his leaner build. What might have been shortcomings were turned to advantages over years of carefully tailored training. That absolute control also helped regulate his emotions in a way most Angara did not bother with, but that suited him just fine. The unnaturally tight sphere of his field acted as a deterrent, saving him the energy in deflecting the social pull of his people. 

Delicately, he sent out a narrow, slight pulse, and his hypothesis was rewarded when one of the leaves lit briefly with a sparkle of blue light. It had the added benefit of startling Ryder, which was entertaining. To her credit, her control only faltered for a brief second. He tried another, and had the same result. “Interesting,” he murmured, feeling an old and neglected well of curiosity stir. “Bioluminescence triggered by electric current?”

“Luciferase usually interacts with oxygen to produce light, but maybe the current catalyzes the enzyme production?” Ryder murmured in response, eyes on the separate leaves Evfra touched. “Only in the presence of electric current - could be that the current somehow stimulates flow of oxygen within the cellular structure.” 

She glanced up at him and read the surprise in his face. “I’m not only a soldier, you know. I have a high level of education in xeno-archeaeology and Dad and I used to debate organic chemistry for fun.” She shifted, her legs unfolding and stretching in front of her. He had thought human skin, though ranging in shades of brown, to be uninteresting and dull at first. Then he’d come to appreciate the way their differing tones reflected light diffusely and how their skin provided a blank canvas for a range of colorful clothing. 

Evfra found himself nearly smiling. “There are bioluminescent plankton on Aya, in certain freshwater lakes and a few southern shallow saltwater bays. And of course, a good handful of fungal species throughout the cluster show it as well, though none have responded to electrical stimuli quite this way. Could be that it’s closer to the original code source? Hm. Though Havarl showed similar patterns in later stages of its decline. Could potentially react to other variations of current, perhaps stimulated to accelerated production cycles.”

“Like on Havarl, but controlled.” She met his gaze. “You’re not just a soldier, either, are you, Evfra de Tershaav?”

He cleared his throat uncomfortably as Ryder let the vegetation gently float to the ground, and reeled back in the careful tendrils of his current. “It has been a while,” he admitted, “since I had the luxury of wondering about anything other than how many of my soldiers would live to see the next day.” He rolled his shoulder, still sore from the fight, but healing well thanks to Initiative medics. “I studied with the Moshae for a time, but when it became evident my focus was more on what could and could not be used for weaponry, she decided her tutelage had come to an end.” 

Ryder grinned. “Well, hell, everything’s a weapon if you’re determined enough.” 

That nearly startled a laugh out of him. As it was, he smiled slightly. “Indeed.” He looked up at the reflection of the stars. “The Kett are still out there.” 

Ryder let out a long breath. “Yeah. I’m worried I’ve made things worse by killing the Archon. It’s brought us a moment of reprieve, but…” He glanced at her and noted her shiver. “That exaltation facility. I shouldn’t have let it stand. I should have listened to the Moshae.”

“Perhaps,” he acknowledged. “The selfish part of me is glad you did not. The return of those captives uplifted our morale significantly. Though, under the Primus’s leadership of the Kett, it needs to be our main area of concern.” 

“The Primus’s only concern is her directive from wherever the Kett homeworld is, and that’s exalting the cluster,” Ryder agreed. “With the Archon’s attention split on the Remnant, it was difficult enough. We’re prepared now, but...Evfra, I’ll be frank and honest with you. I’m concerned the Initiative leadership will lose sight of the threat. That’s one of the reasons I pushed so hard for the Moshae to be offered ambassadorship. She has firsthand experience with the horror of the Kett, and her voice can be heard, making it more difficult for us to simply forget.”

He watched her in careful assessment. “What do you propose, Pathfinder?”

She caught his eye again, and he could see the fierce determination and force of will that drove her forward. “For better or worse, Evfra, we’re here now in Heleus. We have nowhere else to go. The Angaran people have been kinder and and more supportive than I could ever have expected, but our alliance must grow stronger if we are all to survive. We cannot afford to be split against an enemy of unknown strength. I will do everything I can to protect Angaran interests and ensure we work together as allies and not have a repeat of Kadara Port on a wider scale. To that end, I would like to discuss joint military ventures.” She sighed. “I was going to write it all up, make it an official request for an audience with you, Governor Shie, and the leaders from Havarl and Voeld. But you’re here now, and...whether either of us like it, we need each other. We’re stronger together.” 

He was silent. It was nothing he hadn’t thought about himself, but her words snaked past his logic and straight into the dark heart of his memories. Yes, they were stronger together, but there had been so much suffering, and they’d done so much on their own. Would relying on another make them weak? Open them to betrayal from these new allies just like the Kett, whom they’d welcomed with open arms? 

The logical part kicked in and countered his darker musings. It made strategic sense, and Ryder had proven herself over and over again as an ally to the Angaran people. Evfra didn’t particularly trust the Nexus leadership, given how poorly they’d handled their own people on arrival into the system, but Ryder...yes, as far as he could trust anyone, he supposed he trusted Ryder. 

“The Kett homeworld,” he mused. 

“The Jardaan,” Ryder added softly, “and the enemy of theirs that created the Scourge. We know nothing of why or how. We have a moment to collect ourselves, a moment to celebrate, but it’s a battle, not the war. War’s not over, and...everything’s so fragile. We could still lose it all. Evfra...we came out here, all of us in the Initiative, to determine our own future away from the shackles of our pasts in the Milky Way. To explore the unknown, yes, but also to build something new, to determine a way forward that wasn’t mired in the pitfalls of our galactic history. I can’t help but think that despite everything the Angara have learned about your creation...what you’ve done as a culture, as a community, has to be far beyond what any creator could have expected or hoped for. You’ve determined your own path through countless obstacles and terrors, and we have the desire to build a better future in common. I know it’s a big ask, Evfra, to trust us enough to make us part of that future, but we can be so much stronger if we’re together.” 

Evfra watched the human grow steadily more and more earnest as she made her point, her pale blue eyes practically holding his captive. The force of her belief was as strong as if she were broadcasting it through Angaran bioelectrics. “It’s not going to be easy,” he told her, “for either of us.” 

“Our people or ourselves?” she asked.

“Both,” he admitted. “But that’s no reason to ignore a potential advantage. I’ll take whatever I can get in this war, Pathfinder.” 

Her resulting grin felt brighter than the stars above them. She stood and held her arm forward, bare hand extended. It took him a moment to recognize the human form of greeting and acknowledgement, and in that second she seemed to realize her mistake. Angarans didn’t tend to touch hands unless they were intimately acquainted with someone, friend or family, and instead aligned bioelectric fields through a press of the forearm, which also brought them within close enough contact to sense duplicity in someone’s field. Her confident willpower faltered for a moment, but something odd possessed Evfra akin to that long forgotten curiosity, and he stood to clasp her hand in mirrored fashion.

The expression of surprise and pleased hope was unexpected but...not so unwelcome. She gently squeezed his fingers between her smaller digits and gave his hand a firm “shake”. Humans were bizarre at times, though he’d read that the other bipedal Milky Way species had simply adapted to the ubiquitous gesture. Apparently arguing with humans to drop it seemed to take more energy than incorporating the gesture into their own greetings. 

Ryder snorted as she released his hand. “Could be worse, Evfra. I could be Krogan.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“They greet by butting heads.” 

The image of the imposing Krogan shipmate of Ryder’s and his horned head plate butting heads with anyone was disturbing enough. She laughed again at his expression, then offered him a parting smile. “Good night, Evfra. Enjoy the quiet. We’ll talk soon?”

“We’ll talk soon, Pathfinder,” he promised. 

He watched her leave, eyes unwillingly lingering on the curves of her body as she picked her way across the field by the dim light. He was aware that some of the Angara found the humans remarkably attractive despite their dull coloring. The allure of the different, he supposed, and that human women exhibited their physical sexual displays constantly, and not just around cycles of fertility. An Angaran woman was attractive and able to conceive at all times just like the data he’d read on humans and Turians, but there were marked cycles of increased fertility, which seemed to be common with humans. An Angaran mother at the prime of her cycle was...well, it had been a very long time since Evfra had been with anyone, and he’d never let himself close enough to anyone to begin a family. Still, they were the favorite subject of some less than savory literature and vids that were passed around Resistance barracks. 

Human and Angaran males tended to have largely the same overt displays of attraction, given the reaction to Jaal from both of their people. Jaal had complained to Evfra of Ryder’s aloofness in that area, as he found the Pathfinder incredibly interesting. That she’d shied away from any intimate relations with any of her shipmates only grew Evfra’s trust a little further. It was naive and ill-advised to risk entanglements with close-quarters comrades, especially those you had at your back in a gun fight. 

He shook himself. Why in the stars was he even thinking about this? Solitude had drawbacks, certainly, and it might have been nice to have someone to celebrate a victory with, yes, but that wasn’t his life. And why it would even occur to him watching a human of all things walk away was only a sign that he needed solitude even more, to get himself together. 

Evfra closed his eyes, sighed, and let himself relax in the empty field, his bioelectrics fizzing around his body, tuning to the same frequency as the life around him. Meditation, Ryder had called it. Peace was Evfra’s term. 

He gave himself over to nothing but the sensation of it, the feeling of being one with the surroundings and outside of himself and his cares and worries. He thought of nothing: no Resistance, no Kett, no horrid memories, no...no Pathfinder.

If he pretended the pale blue color in his mind was simply a reflection of his love for Voeld and not a pair of alien eyes, well, that was his prerogative.


	2. Refugees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am fudging a bit of what we know canonically about both Evfra's and Ryder's backgrounds. It made sense to me that with a security detail around Prothean artifacts, it wasn't unreasonable to put her on Eden Prime. It also gives the Alliance a flimsy excuse to discharge her when they really want to distance themselves from Alec Ryder and his family any way they can. 
> 
> With what's hinted at about Evfra's family in the game is that something happened to his whole family and they were taken to a Kett work camp ten years prior. I've altered that slightly, made him younger when things happen to his family. Because there wasn't *enough* angst. 
> 
> I've also taken some liberties with how the Initiative learns about the Reaper war. It felt very tacked on and just kind of brushed off when you unlock Alec's log. Which is understandable when you consider the timelines of video game production. But here, I wanted it to hit harder, emotionally and logistically. 
> 
> Eileen Shepard is my Commander. Black hair, green eyes. Romanced the shit out of Garrus and only Garrus. Mostly paragon.
> 
> Wee bit of light self-care smut at the end.

It had been one of the most difficult decisions she’d faced since waking up on the Hyperion. In a whirlwind of tough choices and chaos to sort, this...this was the worst. “Did I do the right thing?” Sara whispered, knowing only SAM could hear her. 

_ “I could not say, Sara. I understand your reasoning, though it was very different from Alec’s. I am still processing all of the implications and probabilities.” _

A cold fear swept through her at his words. All of the implications...she hadn’t thought it through. The Firefighters had been bad enough, but if leadership decided to take what she’d shared public, there’d be a lot more anti-AI sentiment. “I won’t let anything happen to you, SAM, I promise. They’ll have to go through me first.”

_ “While I appreciate the sentiment, I would not wish for you to put your life at risk for me. Hopefully, it will not be a choice you’ll be forced to make.”  _

She sighed and laid her head down at her desk. She’d given the Hyperion quarters over to Scott. After a week of sharing they were ready to cheerfully murder each other, so Sara had packed up and retreated to the Pathfinder quarters on the docked Tempest. SAM’s blue light swirled calmingly around his node’s base. “I can’t do this without you, SAM,” she told the AI. “Literally, of course,” she clarified, “but also...you’re important to me.” 

It was difficult to explain, but for the sake of his learning, she felt she ought to try. “When I woke up and found out Dad had died, you were like a lifeline in my head. With Scott in a coma, and everyone looking at me with confusion and fear and uncertainty, knowing you were with me and I could rely on you was so important to me. I never felt alone, not really, and that kept me from slipping into despair. When you were yanked out of my mind by the Archon, I felt so empty and wrong. So I just...I want you to know that you’re more than a tool or an advantage to me, SAM. You’re my friend. You’re family. That’s an important connection to organic life. You saw the lengths to which my father was willing to go for family.” 

SAM was silent for a long moment.  _ “Indeed. I am still understanding what all this means subjectively to myself, but I have gone to what others may consider extraordinary lengths far beyond any of Alec’s original protocol to aid you and protect your life. Perhaps that means the feeling is mutual?” _

“Thanks, SAM,” she replied, smiling as she nestled her head into her elbow. “If you had corporeal form, I’d hug you. Hm,” she wondered, “perhaps some of the Remnant technology might help us figure out how to get you a mobile platform.”

_ “One thing at a time, Sara.” _

She snorted and stood, moving to the bed to try and sleep. The meeting had been long and emotionally trying. It was one thing to know what happened, but somehow if it had just been her own secret, her own knowledge, then maybe it was wrong. Maybe it was a dream or a nightmare, not real. But seeing the devastation on her Turian friends’ faces as they watched the footage of Palaven’s destruction, watching the normally unflappable Addison collapse in grief when it came to Earth, and even stoic Sarissa weeping beside Cora to witness Thessia’s downfall... Hayjer, who couldn’t stand Tann under normal circumstances, had moved close to Tann along with Kallo as distress signal after distress signal filled with panicked Salarian voices echoed in the air. 

Even Kesh had gently patted the Director’s back, and he hadn’t even flinched, but leaned into the sympathetic touch gratefully. 

The message from Dr. T’Soni shifted into a vid of Commander Eileen Shepard. The infamous N7 and Council Spectre explained everything they knew about the Reapers, what they faced, and what it meant for the Andromeda Initiative. In some ways it hurt even worse seeing that familiar face form such terrible words, when previously her memories of Shepard had been tied to better times for her family. 

“All records will be erased,” the Commander said. “There will be nothing left indicating that any of us survived and left the galaxy. Once this message is sent, we’ll scrub the transmitter as well. The Reaper forces are converged largely on the Sol system at the moment, so we’re far enough out there’s no chance of the signal getting hijacked.” 

The Commander’s face had been set in firm lines, though her exhaustion was evident in poorly concealed dark circles beneath her vivid green eyes. “I don’t intend to lose this fight, Alec. Like you taught me: if you can’t fight it, use it. I’ll find a way. We’ll get the Crucible functional. I don’t care if no one else has managed a victory in millenia. What matters is now, and I don’t fucking lose.” The lines of her face relaxed slightly. “But knowing you’re all out there, that you’ll make a start no matter where you end up and what you face...that helps. You have no idea how much it helps. And if it helps you and the Initiative to know, back here we’ve all come together. Everyone. The Krogan are fighting to save Palaven alongside the Turians after-” 

Her voice cracked slightly, and she closed her eyes. “After Mordin Solus, a Salarian scientist and a hero - and my friend - sacrificed his life to distribute the cure he’d developed to the genophage. Urdnot Wrex and Urdnot Bakara now lead the forces of Tuchanka, and I intend to see to it that the kernel of hope Mordin bought them for a better future isn’t wasted. Primarch Adrien Victus of Palaven is a hell of a leader, though he doesn’t even realize it yet, and he’s forging ahead with incredible new alliances. There's even peace between the Geth and the Quarians, and the Rachni are working with us. It would take longer than I have bandwidth for this message to tell you all the incredible things I've seen happen in the face of adversity, but the important thing is that I can’t let that die. I won’t. We’ll make it. We have to.”

Kesh had gasped and gripped Tann’s shoulder more tightly as Kandros reached out and took her hand. It had taken every ounce of willpower to not succumb to tears witnessing the members of three species that had so long been on the edge of animosity and war come together almost instinctively in grief. 

“But in case I don’t make it, I’ve included one last vid clip.” Shepard had smiled, and it was incredible in the face of all the adversity. She’d always had a stunning smile, capable of drawing attention from practically miles away. Alec Ryder himself once commented that if Shepard ran out of flashbangs, she could just smile and blind the enemy. “No one will believe it ever happened, so hold this as evidence that if we go down, we did not go down easily.” 

The last vid had been incredible footage from Tuchanka of the largest thresher maw Sara had ever seen taking down a Reaper. It was peppered with exclamations from Shepard’s team of a Quarian and Turian, overlaid with shouts from the Krogan leader and occasional commentary from the referenced Salarian scientist. “THERE’S A REAPER IN MY WAY, WREX!” nearly made Sara laugh despite herself, as it perfectly encapsulated the Eileen Shepard she recalled from her childhood. Her father’s first trainee in the N7 program, and his best, most irritating student. 

Sara stood back from the rest of the leadership team, near the Moshae, whom she’d invited to the meeting. There could be no secrets between the Initiative and the Angara, and while it had been a gamble with their alliance, Sara felt it would pay off. As Evfra had once said to her, honesty marked them as different from the Kett. The Moshae had watched silently, her large eyes filling with sympathetic tears as wave after wave of destruction manifested on the vid screens. 

She left the leadership council to mull over the information and formulate a course of action. They wouldn’t, and she’d have to step in, but for the moment it was a nice fiction to believe that for once she could hand the burden to someone else. She lay back upon the bed, throwing one arm across her eyes even as SAM triggered the smart glass in the windows to darken. 

Sleep wasn’t forthcoming and after a while she sat up, sensing someone at the door even before SAM chimed up. “Come in,” she called, not even listening to SAM’s announcement as she fully expected one of her grieving crew members. But the door swished open to reveal the unexpected form of Evfra de Tershaav. 

Ryder blinked and stood hastily, smoothing out the wrinkle in the bedclothes from where she’d flopped down. “Evfra, come in,” she said, gesturing to the seating area which was well away from the suddenly incredibly personal bed. Why such a thought would make her flush now, when half the crew had been in and out of her quarters at all hours without so much as batting an eyelash, she had no idea. 

The Angaran stood in the doorway, head tilted slightly in the seemingly universal body language for curiosity. “I didn’t know you could alter its shape,” he mused, staring at her. 

Sara frowned in confusion, then realized her hair was down from its usual ponytail. “Oh! Yes, it’s soft, but also doesn’t have nerve endings apart from the scalp, so...um, yeah. We do all kinds of stuff to it. Some more than others.” 

For a moment, his hand twitched upward as though he wanted to verify the softness she claimed, but that was preposterous in Evfra of all people. Besides, Jaal had curiously flicked at her ponytail a few times, which had led to an interesting discussion on varying human cultural implications of hair when he tried to touch Liam’s. Sara felt sure that flaw of discrimination in human history had made it into Jaal’s reports. “I...um...come in,” she repeated again, dumbly. “Can I, er, get you anything? I have...coffee and uh...coffee. It’s a stimulant,” she clarified.

He walked in slowly, letting the door shut behind him. “I apologize for interrupting your rest, Pathfinder. I hadn’t considered the lateness of the hour. I’ve just come from a meeting with Jaal and the Moshae about the information from the Milky Way.” 

Sara watched his unreadable face for a moment, then steeled herself. “Well, I’ll break out the whiskey, then.” She turned and pulled out one of Reyes’s gifts of thanks, pouring herself a few fingers of good bourbon. She glanced at Evfra, then offered him a small glass as well.

He took it and sniffed gingerly. “Intoxicant?”

“Dutch courage,” she murmured with a sip. “Yes, alcohol. Stronger than tavum, so watch yourself.” 

He made a face. “It’s bitter. Hm. But also...interesting. I don’t normally drink intoxicants, but perhaps this is a bit of an exception. I’m sorry, Ryder. I know that sounds simple and hollow; I’m not as good at expressing my feelings as some of my brethren. I told you before that I feel for your people, even if I couldn’t help them. That’s still true.”

Ryder sat down and Evfra finally took the hint. She watched him over the rim of her glass, waiting for the inevitable turn.  _ We’re sorry but we can’t help you. We’re sorry but we can’t trust you. We’re sorry but you’re on your own. We’re sorry you were never trained for this bullshit, but you have to figure it all out yourself or everyone dies. _

Travel across the stars, only to face rejection at every turn, even mistrust from her own people.

_ We were supposed to do this together, Dad. You, me, and Scott.  _

Yet the rejection didn’t come. Evfra sat across from her in companionable if heavy silence, staring at his glass of bourbon and taking small sips occasionally. “The footage of Earth,” he said finally, “it reminded me of Voeld. What the Kett did to Estraaja. The...whatever monsters those creatures turned your people into…”

“Husks,” Sara replied. “We called them husks. I’d seen them before on Eden Prime. Didn’t know the truth back then, we thought it was this other synthetic race called the Geth. The Quarians had created them, and then the Geth rebelled. I was part of the security for a research team on one of our colonies.” She swirled her drink and took another long mouthful, letting its sting numb her. “Eden Prime was a beautiful colony; all farming towns and wild vistas. It turned out to be an important planet to the Protheans; the civilization that came before us - well, that we thought came before us and built the mass relays and the Citadel. We were wrong about everything we thought we knew about our own galaxy, about our own evolution. We knew the Protheans intervened here and there and nudged certain species along that showed promise, but the entire time all organic life was growing according to the schedules set by the Reapers millenia ago. They...farmed us..” 

She sighed. “But I digress. The team I was working with on Eden Prime found something significant, but then the Geth showed up and it was all I could do to get most of the scientists to safety. I made the call to abandon the research in favor of saving the team. Officially, that’s what got me court martialed. Unofficially, it was just an excuse to get rid of another Ryder and further distance the Alliance from my dad’s illegal AI research.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “The Geth were using those devices - we nicknamed them ‘Dragon’s Teeth’, don’t ask me why - to turn the dead into cybernetic husks capable of carrying out simple destructive commands. It was nasty, and I couldn’t risk the knowledge of some of those scientists getting into the Geth’s hands that way, even if it meant leaving the artifact behind. As it was, the recovery effort for the artifact resulted in the death of a Council Spectre - even though it was just this giant, orchestrated mess by another Spectre gone rogue. Even then, there was so much more going on than we were aware of. Only Commander Shepard and her team really saw the truth about the Geth and Saren Arterius, that rogue Spectre: they were all just tools being used by the Reapers, who were the real threat no one wanted to believe was real.” She shuddered. “I still have nightmares about the husks, sometimes. It was worse after seeing the exaltation facility, I admit. We thought we’d left that shit behind us.” 

He was silent for a moment, digesting her disjointed story. He swirled the liquid in his glass then looked up at her with a flat expression. “None of this is in your cultural center.” 

That made her laugh. “No, it wouldn’t be, would it? We’re the heroes from the Milky Way, here to build our Utopia - our perfect paradise where everyone is happy - on the foundation of friendship and cooperation we carry from home.” Sara set aside her empty glass. “I do believe in the foundation of those principles, Evfra, but everyone is flawed. No species is perfect. You were right to mistrust us, though I wish it weren’t true.” 

“What’s this, the Pathfinder admitting I’m right in something? Now I’m concerned.” His tone was light, almost joking. She laughed. 

“Yeah, sorry. Enjoy it while you can. Feeling a little maudlin at the moment.” She leaned her head onto the back of the sofa. “So where do we go now, Evfra?”

“I don’t know, Ryder, but wherever it is we have little choice but to find the way together. Heleus is your home now. You cannot go back even if you wanted to. In a strange way, it makes it easier to trust you. As terrible as it might seem, I know now that all of the Initiative, not just you, is invested in this cluster’s future.” Evfra set down his mostly empty glass on the low table beside hers. “You’ve earned my trust before, Ryder, but trusting an individual only goes so far. It’s different now. This changes things with our people. We have a strong culture of taking in those in need, those who are victims of misfortune, and that grew under Kett occupation. This news, as terrible as it is, makes you refugees, not conquerors.”

It wasn’t the answer she’d feared, and in fact was far better than she could have hoped for. A small weight shifted within her and she let out a slow breath. “Thank you, Evfra. I understand what you’re saying, and I look forward to-” she yawned abruptly, and Evfra actually chuckled. Sara opened one eye at him suspiciously, and saw that he was indeed very nearly smiling with amusement. 

“I intended to speak to you about this all in the morning, but Jaal urged me to visit tonight on the instinct that you wouldn’t be able to sleep unless some burden was lifted off your shoulders. It appears he was right. I need you rested and thinking if we’re going to forge this alliance, Ryder, not exhausted and stressed. I intended to send Jaal your way instead of me - he’s far better at this sort of thing than I am, but he and the Moshae got into a philosophical discussion, and that won’t end for another four to eight hours or so.”

Evfra, making a joke. Sara blamed the bourbon for that fact and the unwelcome heat it brought to the center of her chest when he locked eyes with her. What she’d said to SAM earlier had been true: she was never really alone with the implant. But there were different kinds of loneliness, and it had been so long since she’d been touched or simply held...the temptation to throw herself into his arms the moment he said anything remotely nice to her was unwelcome and unproductive and she needed to get her hormones under control. 

_ Regulating _ , came SAM’s soft whisper through their private channel,  _ though it would be easier if you abstain from further alcohol consumption. _

Sara snorted lightly, both at SAM’s comment and Evfra’s observation on Jaal’s ability to talk someone’s ear off. “I haven’t been able to sleep well for a while,” she admitted. “There’s only so much Lexi and SAM can do about nightmares, after all. Humans need a REM cycle for healthy sleep, and that means dealing with dreams.” 

“Does your meditation not help?”

“Only a little,” she admitted. “The benefits are short term, and I don’t want to fall asleep with biotics active and crash to the floor when I wake up hovering above my bed. I did that when they first manifested at age ten, and broke my arm.” 

Evfra nodded in understanding. “Learning control is similar for Angarans. Though we do have a form of meditation that involves attuning our bioelectric fields to the currents in surrounding life or setting or each other. It helps the mind produce a relaxing chemical that aids in sleep.”

“Ahhh,” Sara replied with a smile. “I think Jaal’s knocked me out once or twice with that when I wouldn’t let Lexi give me a sedative.” 

“His reports have mentioned your rather astonishing stubborn pride when it comes to injury and complete lack of self-preservation, yes.” Evfra shook his head and looked at her with a narrow gaze. “He’s half in love with you, you know.” 

Sara snorted. “He’s half in love with everyone. It’s sweet, and God knows he’s attractive enough for any species, but it’s just...not right. He’s part of my crew.” She tilted her head back on the couch again and closed her eyes. “What kind of life could I even offer a partner? I’m never in one place for long, and everyone needs so much of me. I don’t mind, you know, it’s the job. I don’t think I could sit on the sidelines for very long. I was part of the Pathfinder team before I became Pathfinder myself. I’d always intended to live this way, but it’s just...doubly so now, I guess. Jaal’s someone who needs a family, needs a home to return to. I can’t have that. Not yet anyway. Maybe not ever, I don’t know. Besides, once the luster of something shiny and new wears off, I’d just be a strange alien with an all-consuming job.”

Maybe it was the bourbon, or the fact that her eyes were closed and the forced relaxation of alcohol mixed with sheer exhaustion was starting to creep through her muscles, but she kept going. “Besides, I don’t need another set of hopeful eyes following me around, keeping me glued to a pedestal. I need someone that would keep me grounded, who would understand the burdens and be able to share them. I don’t know, pay no attention to me, Evfra.”

“I normally don’t,” he agreed with what was definitely amusement, “and can’t imagine why this tirade would be any different.” 

Despite herself, she laughed. Truly the bourbon had worked miracles…

“Wait.” She opened her eyes again and lifted her head, though her whole body argued against it. “Are you doing this?”

“Doing what, Pathfinder?” Evfra asked lightly.

She narrowed her eyes. “You deceptive shit.” 

Evfra was startled into a laugh, and the deep resonance of his chuckle sent warmth tingling all the way from her chest to her toes. “I told you, I need you rested and thinking, Ryder. We’re partners in a new joint military venture now. It’s not going to be easy. You need to sleep.”

“I’ll wake up with a sore neck,” she grumbled, “but go ahead. It’s better than Lexi’s sedatives.” 

When she did wake up, several hours later, it was in her own bed, tucked into the blankets with her shoes neatly slid against the bed beside her. For a moment, she thought she’d imagined everything, but then her eyes caught the sparkle of rising sunlight on the glasses and bottle left from the night before. She lay back against the pillows and stared up at the cabin ceiling, wondering what the hell to make of it all. 

Evfra was a tough person to read, but there seemed to be a new peace between them, and understanding of alliance and shared purpose. He saw her as an equal now, or something close to it at any rate, and was willing to try and push past their misunderstandings. It was far more than she’d ever expected from him, and she ran a hand over her face in frustration with herself at yet wanting far more. It was absurd, and far too complicated and entangled. 

He was just the only thing even close to someone who’d understand, aside from Tiran Kandros. And Tiran had eyes for Vetra, even if neither of them had realized it. That wasn’t a shitstorm she was interested in setting foot inside. They’d have to figure themselves out, or not, by themselves. 

It wasn’t even sex that was the issue, though if she thought about looking for a simple fling, a Turian would be her main choice. They had no qualms about casual sex, and she was sure she could easily find a hot-blooded Turian male willing to fuck her six ways to Sunday. But as nice as that sounded, it was only a temporary reprieve; as temporary as whatever it was Reyes Vidal had offered her. Which was also tempting to try, but ultimately wasn’t worth the trouble of getting involved with Vidal and his lies. Even if he did claim to be good with his mouth.

Sara picked up the pillow beside her and held it over her face while she groaned at herself and this inconvenient bout of horniness. “SAM,” she muttered.

_ I am trying, but there’s only so much I can regulate without harming you. Your hormonal cycle is returning to normal now that the contraceptive blockers from cryostasis are fading and the new, less regulatory contraceptive medicine is taking effect. I suggest getting back to the Nexus and finding a willing Turian partner to - how did you put it? Fu- _

“Thanks, SAM!” Sara called out, moving the pillow aside swiftly. “I got the idea.” 

_ In the interim, I am happy to engage privacy mode should you need to initiate self-care. _

“Yes, thank you and also I hate you a little.” 

_You do not, you are simply embarrassed. There is no need. I do not possess any judgements regarding organic life and cultural perceptions around sexuality and sexual needs. It is not something I would have an opinion on past your need to regulate your stress levels for overall health._ _Engaging private mode. Enjoy._

Enjoyment was the last thing on her mind after that little pep talk from SAM. Still, she felt a little tingly and almost antsy, and perhaps it would help. She brushed the covers aside and static electricity snapped around her. 

She shivered, and then gasped a little with recognition. It was the remnant of Evfra’s bioelectric field that he had used to lull her into sleep.

For reasons she didn’t want to closely examine, the idea of it still clinging to her skin in an unintentionally intimate way was incredibly erotic. All annoyance with SAM fled as heat flushed through her center, and yes, maybe a little self-care was warranted.

Deserved, even. 

Every movement brought forth another little sting of electricity, and it drove her to heights she rarely achieved alone. The forbidden nature of fantasizing about someone she had no right to even think of that way only added to her excitement. When she finally came on her own fingers, it was with a gasping cry muted into her pillow and shudders that coursed through her for a full minute. 

Right, she thought, as her breath slowed and her heart rate slid back down to normal, so that had happened and she would get up, shower, and refuse to think about it ever again. 

Completely doable. 


	3. The Birth of the Heleus Collective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also adore Tiran Kandros. Totally behind a Kandros/Ryder ship. Or really any other ship, but even though this story is Evfra/Ryder, I couldn't resist a little turian-style flirting. But I also just think Kandros and Vetra would be *so good* together.
> 
> I'm still on the fence about capitalizing species names. I'll settle one way or the other, but it may be mixed throughout this chapter. Sorry.

“Ryder,” Tiran Kandros acknowledged as he approached the newly appointed War Room. Tann and Addison had both been staunchly overruled on the creation of a joint military between the Angara and the Initiative. While Addison was slightly mollified on the point of transparency and a liaison to Colonial Affairs - and Sara’s ten minute long lecture on how no, the Pathfinder could not, in fact, act as the sole colonial security force any longer - Tann was still reluctant to give up what he saw as advantageous for the Initiative. It was his cold, simplistic economics that frustrated Sara the most, but she’d learned to take a step back and deal with him later with a calmer head. His intentions were good, after all, even if his viewpoint was too narrow.

After all, as SAM had pointed out once, Alec Ryder hadn’t gotten angry at an obstacle. He’d simply gone around it. Or under it. Or over it. Whatever was necessary to accomplish his objectives. She could be her father’s daughter when warranted. 

It was a blessing Scott wasn’t in the meeting. He’d have decked Tann. “Kandros,” Sara responded, glancing over her shoulder from the holo map of the cluster. 

“I saw Nakmor Drack downstairs with a shiny new set of heavy armor, sans Kett bones. A special occasion?” Sara was by no means an expert on reading Turian expressions, but Vetra had given her a good deal of practice. Kandros was almost stoically stone-faced but she could see amusement in the squint of his eyes and the tilt of his head. 

Across the holo-table Tann shifted and glanced at Ryder, eyes narrowing suspiciously. 

Sara kept the entertainment out of her voice as she replied simply that the Krogan were allies of the Initiative in their own right, much like the Angara. “And as the representative from Aya has joined us,” she continued, nodding at Evfra, who watched the exchange with an impassive expression to rival Kandros, “I invited the representative from Elaaden as well.”

“Which is me,” came Drack’s rumbling voice. Everyone turned to see the large Krogan as he entered, clad indeed in a new hardsuit of black and yellow. Privately, Sara thought it would have looked like an overgrown bumblebee on anyone else, but Drack could wear a circus clown suit and look impressively intimidating. With a snort she couldn’t help repressing, she noticed that Kandros was mistaken - the Kett bones weren’t gone, they were simply worked into the hardsuit design, like ivory inlay. 

“Suave,” she noted to Drack, looking pointedly at the intricate braid of bone around his wrist cuff, just before his fingers emerged encased in gloves of dyed black Adhi hide. 

“Morda insisted her general look the part, and Kesh got a little carried away.” He chuckled lowly. “And Lexi provided the extra material.” 

“Bet that was a fun date night,” Sara teased. 

“Ryder,” Tann interjected, “please explain yourself.” 

Sara turned to the Director and raised a calm eyebrow. “I just did, sir.” She turned to the rest of the room, gathered around the holo map, and squared her shoulders. She’d put all her chips on this bet, and even Gil thought it was a hell of a gamble. Nowhere to go but forward, as her dad would say. Time for the prepared speech.

She allowed herself one calm inhale and one calm exhale before she launched into it. “We came to this galaxy, to this cluster specifically, anticipating a plethora of suitable worlds for habitation without sign of advanced civilization. We were wrong. After everything we have faced for the last three years, it is foolish to cling to the original Andromeda Initiative agenda. It got us this far, but now it’s time to build something new.” She lifted her chin, meeting the curious gaze of everyone assembled. “It begins now, and it begins here. We have no choice but to prioritize military protection of all our people, but even now Moshae Sjefa, Director Addison, Superintendent Kesh, and a council of Nexus scientists are gathering to plan joint scientific endeavors, not just geared at understanding the Remnant and the Jardaan, but also focused on survival, long-term settlement viability, and exploration for all Heleus citizens.” 

She looked back at Tann and locked eyes with him. “Director Tann, it was your predecessor’s vision that the Nexus become the eventual seat of a new galactic council. I know how your mind works, sir, and you’ve gained valuable insight from both our successes and failures. When we design and build this new council, I am confident you can guide it to be practical, supported, and even better than Dr. Garson ever imagined.” 

Sara looked back over those assembled. “We are no longer a civilian scientific endeavor. We are a society, a civilization. We will build the Heleus Collective here, with all of us involved and given voice. Even,” she added, mentally holding her breath as she sprung her most daring move yet, “the independent citizens of Kadara Port.” She nodded to her side, and Reyes Vidal stepped forward into the glow of the holo sphere to a collection of sharp gasps.

Well, this was bound to piss off everyone equally, she reflected. 

It had been a daring, shocking move even when she thought of it. But on reflection, what was the worst they could do to her? Strip her of her duties and exile her? Fine. She’d already worked out a way to stay connected to SAM regardless of her status, and Vidal had promised to let her have at least a few days’ vacation and rest before putting her to work in return for safe harbor. 

They weren’t going to kill the Hero of Meridian, and she’d be a damn fool herself if she let that advantage go to waste. Her father’s daughter, indeed. 

It was a perfectly laid trap for everyone: Tann and Kandros from the Initiative, Evfra from the Angara, Drack from the Krogan, Vidal from the exiles, and the other three Pathfinders as witnesses. No one could back out now without looking as though they didn’t want peaceful cooperation. Tann couldn’t lose face in front of the Angara by denying the Krogan or the exiles a voice, Kandros was enough of a pragmatist to see the need, Evfra might not like the inclusion of Kadara, but he’d never turned down an advantage, Drack could take a report back to Morda that the Initiative wasn’t solely leading the show (which would keep her from weaseling out of Krogan-pledged responsibilities), Vidal wanted legitimacy for Kadara, and the Pathfinders all liked a good show. They’d follow her lead into hell and back without much persuasion, but in this case it hadn’t been necessary. The Pathfinder Council was in perfect agreement, and each would be a leading example for their people, even if Nexus leadership faltered. A built-in failsafe.

Check and mate. 

_ Sara _ , SAM interjected on their private channel,  _ I have been learning how to read and interpret Angaran short-range bioelectric communications. General de Tershaav is impressed, and approves of your maneuver. _

She had felt a little fizz of energy on her skin, raising the small hairs on the back of her neck. Nice to know what it meant, though she tried not to look too deeply into it. He was a tactician, and respected good strategy. Still, Sara found herself glancing his way briefly. His face gave no indication of his thoughts, but his eyes flitted away from hers with a brief flicker of surprise, and the touch of his field vanished. 

_Perhaps without other Angara present, he had not realized anyone would notice._ _I have observed General de Tershaav in the presence of his people, and by comparison, it seems he keeps his bioelectric field closer and smaller on purpose. I believe it is the equivalent of the ‘poker face’ you and Gil reference. I would anticipate that it takes a similar amount of energy and effort to keep it still._

_ Still waters run deep, SAM. _

_ I have heard your father use that expression, Sara, but it was usually framed by danger assessment. You are not behaving as though confronted with danger.  _

It took some effort not to actually laugh. Wasn’t she?  _ Oh, I’m in danger, SAM. Just emotionally. I’ll explain later.  _

The rest of the meeting went fairly uneventfully. Ryder was relieved to see that Kandros and Vidal seemed to get along just fine. Like her, Kandros came with no preconceptions about the Nexus mutiny. Doubtless, they didn’t trust each other, but Kandros trusted few and Vidal was hardly worthy of it. 

“What is it you’re after, Ryder?” Tann murmured.

“Stable colonies and a future for us all,” she answered. “Candidly, I’m not interested in your job, Tann. For everyone’s grumbling and mistrust, there’s a lot you do right. But you’ve got to get beyond how you thought in the Milky Way: beyond the distrust of the Krogans, beyond the fear of being judged a failure by some external power. There’s no such power. It’s gone. I wish it wasn’t true, but barring a miracle, we’re alone out here and our only hope for survival long term is to stop thinking like the Initiative and start thinking like a Council. You once said our success was intertwined. I have no desire to change that, especially not in favor of Addison.” 

Sara sighed. “You’re the expert in risk assessment, sir. Do you honestly think it’s not worth trying?”

He was silent for a long moment. “Okay, Ryder. Every time I’ve fought you on something, I’ve been wrong. I’m wary of building you up to be infallible, for your sake as well as ours, believe it or not. But you’re right: we’ve been trying to hold onto something that isn’t going to work anymore. I know obsolescence when I see it.” 

“I would hope so,” she told him openly, ignoring the veiled threat in his words. If she took every mild implication of being removed from her position seriously, she’d never get any work done. 

And there was a lot of work to do.

…

Plans were made, debates less heated than expected. At least, they were relatively calm until Addison and the scientific council showed up. By that point, Tann was firmly in Sara’s camp, and Addison hadn’t gained any points with either the Moshae or with Kesh. Still, by the time people filed out of the room, Ryder felt completely exhausted. 

With only a few remaining to discuss other matters among themselves, she let herself lean on the console a bit. Never sagging, but shifting some of her weight off her tired legs. Laying in a medward bed for a solid week had done nothing for her stamina. 

“As the Krogans would say,” Tiran murmured softly, “you’ve got a quad, Ryder.” 

She snorted and grinned at him. “I need a fucking drink, Kandros.” 

He turned a laugh into a cough before it drew further attention. “I have brandy,” he told her quietly, with a look of frank appraisal. “Levo and dextro. Back at my place. I mean...well.” His mandibles shifted, something which she’d compared in her head to a human clearing their throat. “I guess...it can mean whatever you want.” 

The idea generated quite a bit of interest in her body, but Sara clamped down on the thought quickly. “That’s...hmm.” She did clear her throat, wondering if he’d sense the same discomfort she saw in his jaw. “I’m...well. I’m tempted as hell, honestly. You’re a good guy, Tiran, and I know what you’re laying on the table. But…”

“Not into Turians?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t both attracted and curious. But that’s not why, and you know it.” 

He sighed, a seemingly universal sign of frustration. He knew exactly what she was referencing, and was no doubt furious with himself for revealing his weakness for Vetra Nyx during their post-Meridian drinking binge with APEX. She could sympathize. At this point in time - while ostensibly she was glad she knew Tiran was fringe over heel spurs for Vetra - she really wished she didn’t know. Without the adrenaline and focus of near-certain death and pressure of the entire Initiative’s survival riding on her shoulders, Sara was...lonely. She could really go for just...a hug, even. A cuddle. One night of feeling safe and supported. 

Also fucked senseless, but that was just icing on the cake. At this point she’d take a crumb. Just...not if it hurt her best friends in the process, even if those two best friends were both literally and metaphorically thick-skulled idiots. 

“Yeah, well. If any of us let that stop us, we’d be celibate longer than we were in cryo.” There was a slight growl in his subtones. “I don’t know what to do there, and it’s not like...Nyx and I never talk, you know? Half the time I think I’m imagining her interest. I’m not used to that. Turians are supposed to be up front, at least we are in the military.”

Sara snorted. “About needs or about feelings?”

“Ah, shit,” he admitted, running a hand over his fringe. “It is about feelings, isn’t it?” 

“If all you and Vetra needed to do was work it out of your system, you wouldn’t be standing here trying to forget the fact that you’re pining over her by propositioning me. I’m flattered, mind you, but I care too much about both of you to let you get away with it.” 

He gave her a look that would be rakish from any species. “C’mon, give me some credit. It’s not just about forgetting someone else. What you did in there  _ was _ pretty hot, Ryder. Or did you not know a lot of turians are hella turned on by competent command?”

She snort-laughed, but thankfully it was drowned out by Drack roaring at a joke of Kesh’s. “Wretch. Like I said, I appreciate the thought. If it weren’t otherwise complicated, I’d be happy to explore human-turian relations further with you. But right now there’s a turian who feels like she isn’t welcome among her own people, so how could she possibly be good enough for the scion of an old military family, even if he did rebel and jump ship to an entirely new galaxy?”

“Spirits. I hate you, Ryder.” 

“You’re a shit liar, Kandros. Go get your girl. I’ll be fine. No, I don’t need you to hook me up with a turian pal. Though...put a pin in that thought.” 

He laughed. “I wasn’t thinking it, but I’ll keep it in mind. Not sure I know anyone good enough for you, Sara.” He touched his forehead briefly to hers, which made her smile. It felt familial, not passionate, and she was glad she could reign in her own horniness long enough to make the right call there. 

She always made the right call, though, and damn if she wasn’t tired of it. Scott got to run off to Omega to drink his way into his sorrow at being blacklisted, ignoring his anger at their dad in willing piles of Asari strippers. Sara was the one who got to clean everything up and play peacekeeper even though that wasn’t her official job anymore. Someone had to be the family glue, and no one else was stepping up. 

Until their mom died.

Well. The day she thought their mom had died. What a mess. Now she got to look forward to the day they could wake up and cure Ellen Ryder, only to tell her that the love of her life not only ignored her wishes but was long dead, along with possibly everyone else on Earth. 

Shit. Maybe she should have taken Kandros up on his half-hearted offer. It would be so nice to just...forget. Everything. For a little bit, at least. 

“Pathfinder.”

Oh, hell. 

“General.” Sara turned to see Evfra leaning against the console railing beside her, arms crossed and eyes assessing her for all the world as if they stood in his office on Aya and not in the Pathfinder lounge of the Nexus. It shouldn’t affect her the way it did. His eyes were so different. Beautiful, but in a way even more alien than a salarian. Though their features were more similar, she found him at times harder to read than Kandros. Perhaps it had nothing to do with his being an Angaran and everything to do with his being Evfra. She never had trouble understanding Jaal. 

“Bold strategy,” he told her, and she hoped she didn’t imagine the hint of approval in his voice. It was pitched in that lower tone he used when mulling over something. Or so it seemed to her. But Evfra was a consummate tactician, and it could mean any number of things. “I’m impressed you managed to pull it off.” 

She threw him a half-smile. “You can’t fool me, there was a compliment in there somewhere, even if it was backhanded.” 

He snorted slightly. “You could have warned me.” 

Sara blinked. “The Moshae didn’t tell you? We hatched the plan together.” 

That earned an amused grunt. “She does like to put me in my place when she can.” 

“I doubt that happens often.” She smiled. “There can’t be many people who can do that.” 

“What’s the saying you have? Flattery gets you nowhere?”

She laughed at that. “True. Though I like to say ‘flattery gets you everywhere’, myself. Nice to be told how awesome I am.”

He leveled a look of sufferance at her that she had no trouble interpreting. “Didn’t seem to work out for Kandros,” he commented lightly. 

Sara coughed into her hand. “Ah, yes, well.” Shit. Now she was off balance, damn him. “There are complications there.” 

He was silent for a moment, watching her and no doubt privately enjoying her discomfort. “I’m assuming you don’t simply mean in the biological sense.” 

Good Lord, was she really having this conversation with Evfra? “Jaal’s reports weren’t thorough on that front?”

“Only for the Asari.” 

Before she could stop herself, an honest to God giggle rose in her throat. “I bet he did.” She swallowed back any further comments. “Well, it...it’s doable, if you’ll pardon the pun. Between humans and turians. Biological equipment is similar and all, and as long as no one has any chirality allergies, it’s fine. Not particularly common: our people were at war not too long ago. My father fought in the First Contact War. What turians call the ‘Relay 314 Incident’. It might technically be over six hundred years ago, but cryo-sleep doesn’t impart that kind of distance from the past.” 

“You have a turian on your crew, do you not?”

“Vetra, yes,” she said, “and that’s the problem.” She glanced at Evfra, but his expression gave nothing away. “I don’t have a problem with turians or I wouldn’t be part of the Initiative. Part of participation screening was the willingness and ability to work with other species. And Dad may have fought in the First Contact War, but he spent far more time working alongside turians as allies than he ever did facing them as enemies. That’s not the problem. The problem is that Kandros and Vetra are two of the people I consider dearest to me out here, and they’re madly in love with each other and each too stubborn to act first.” 

He tilted his head slightly in consideration. “Kandros didn’t particularly seem...reticent in offering himself to you.” 

Sara shook her head. “You know, your own Resistance fighters are convinced you’re omnipotent and if they so much as swear on your name, you’ll find out and punish them. I’m starting to understand why.” She leveled a look at him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s not what it seems. Turians take a very casual and open approach to sex without strings.”

“Without ‘strings’?”

“Emotional romantic attachment. Sex for sex’s sake. Stress relief. Blowing off steam. Do...is that not a thing with your people?”

It was Evfra’s turn to look a little uncomfortable. “It’s not unheard of, but generally culturally frowned upon among most worlds. Our family groups are large, and it creates unnecessary tension. People are encouraged to make attachments known and public, even if temporary. Things were different before the invasion, I gather. Easier for people like m- er, well, easier for some, anyway.” 

His entire family was gone, she recalled. Seeing how close Jaal was to his, and others...it must be difficult. Not that Evfra would ever make that known or obvious. She wanted to say something, to tell him she understood, and they were similar in that, but it wouldn’t be welcome. It would sound empty and pitying. Of all the things she felt for the enigmatic general, pity wasn’t one. 

“So what do you do for stress relief, then, Evfra?” she asked lightly, or tried to ask lightly. She was unable to keep a little bit of almost instinctive huskiness out of her voice as her mind trailed back to her - what had SAM called it? Personal care? - time back on Meridian, the morning after their most personal talk yet. She hadn’t let herself dwell on it, or think of it. Or anything even remotely related to sex. 

Damn Kandros and his timing. This was the closest she’d come to flirting with Evfra, and it was going to backfire, and she had only her own hormones and a frustrating turian to blame. 

He was watching her expression with an intensity she found unsettling. It generally meant he was deciding precisely how to weaponize his irritation and verbally take her down a notch or two. She prepared herself mentally for the worst outcome of considerable embarrassment and feeling like an absolutely inexperienced crush-driven youth. 

Instead, the corner of his mouth curved upward in a smirk that did uncomfortable, fluttering things to her stomach. He leaned forward and she caught a hint of his scent - different, but no less pleasant than Jaal’s. Lotions, she’d learned, were important care for Angaran skin and their bioelectric fields, but where her crewmate liked complex earthy botanicals, Evfra smelled...clean. Sharp and clear, like the air back at their New England cabin before a snowstorm. 

It reached into the very center of her and pulled a chord of longing she’d forgotten: blankets and a cozy fire, woodsmoke and hot chocolate. Everything that her mother loved and she’d come to associate with a home. She’d run away from it, from that anchor and weight of belonging, as far as a person could run. Too afraid she’d stick and stay, when there was so much out there still to be seen and done. 

“Why don’t you meet me and find out?” Evfra drawled in a low-pitched voice that she felt all the way to her toes. 

She only realized her eyes were closed when she snapped them open in surprise. “I...what…”

Evfra smiled, predatory and satisfied. “Tomorrow morning, sparring ring. See you there bright and early, Pathfinder.” With that, he turned on his heel and sauntered away. 

Sara ran a hand over her face.  _ I really need to get myself together. He’s gonna kick my ass in the ring tomorrow for being so damn distracted. _

_ Perhaps, Sara. Though, I believe General de Tershaav may have been exhibiting some signs of jealousy and preening. I would need to study Angaran mating rituals in more detail to be certain. _

_ Absolutely not, SAM.  _

_ Are you certain? I could- _

_ No, SAM. No. Just...leave it. When it comes to emotional complexities around, ah, mating, it’s best to just let us organics sort it out ourselves. Or ignore it completely, which is what I plan to do. _

_ That doesn’t seem very productive. Probability of successfully ignoring your physical attraction to the general is- _

_ SAM. _

If an AI could cluck a tongue in annoyance, she had a feeling SAM would have.  _ As you wish, Pathfinder. _

_ Surly’s not a good look on you, bud. We’ll talk it out later, but I’m going to need to wheedle another bottle of bourbon out of Vidal. Until then, you and I are going to pretend we’re not having and have never had this particularly conversation.  _

SAM wisely stayed quiet.


	4. Reach Versus Flexibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age old Mass Effect fan fiction equation of sparring=foreplay. I'm here for it. Tropes are delicious! 
> 
> Slight warning for very, very light dubious consent: nothing crazy, just some unintentional misreading of alien biology. Still, touching without explicit and ongoing enthusiastic consent is wrong and all so I wanted to give a slight heads up about potential inadvertent dry-humping. You're welcome. 
> 
> I have a head canon that humans are kinda like cats to other species: we're soft and completely inscrutable yet fascinating, and petting us helps lower blood pressure and prevent stress. 
> 
> It's been a while since I wrote a fight scene that didn't have swords and magic, so now my youtube is filled with MMA videos. So have a hand-to-hand fight scene with human versus alien biology and space magic. 
> 
> OMG THESE TWO GRUMPS. Just kiss already.

Evfra had no idea what misaligned stars had guided him to say what he said to the Pathfinder. His wits had completely abandoned him the moment he overheard the militia leader idly propositioning Ryder. Though it was her response that had made it difficult to breathe for the next few minutes while she gently let the Turian down, despite her obvious interest. 

The very notion of Ryder’s sexuality and appeal had been far, far easier to ignore when he wasn’t faced with stark evidence of it outside her own species. An offhand comment about Jaal was easy to pass off, but the way she reacted physically to Kandros had been surprising. Shocking, when he noticed the same biological indicators in her body language toward himself, though she tried to mask and control it. 

He managed to recover himself and gain the upper hand in their verbal sparring, only to back himself into an idiotic corner. Yes, sparring was generally his go-to answer when he wanted to shut up an annoying insubordinate, but Ryder was neither his subordinate nor annoying. What was annoying was his reaction to her, and he’d just managed to place himself perfectly for extended, close physical interaction. 

He hoped she hit as hard as Jaal claimed. If reports were to be believed, she’d gone toe-to-toe (a human idiom he found entertaining) with the Krogan once or twice. Never victorious, but she’d held her own longer than someone of her size should have. Jaal was good in hand-to-hand combat, but it wasn’t his specialty and Evfra could see where Ryder could have beaten him. Even the Resistance hescaarl were impressed with her combat training and considered her an honorary member. By all normal, logical reasons, he ought to look forward to this fight. 

Yet he didn’t. Because he’d have to touch her. Smell her. Feel the tickling brush of that soft hair on her head. 

It had been absolutely idiotic to let himself touch her with his field that night on Meridian. He could blame her alcohol, he supposed, but it was her strength in the face of such loss and vulnerability that had captivated him. He hadn’t had - or wanted - anyone to care about in the way that was natural to his people in a long time. That part of himself was broken; dead, even. He dedicated the rest of what remained in his heart to his people, saving them every way he knew how so no one else could be broken the way he’d been. It was better. Never enough, but better. 

Then he’d watched her grip tighten on her glass, the shadows in her odd but alluring eyes, the way her mouth tightened at the corners when she spoke of the things called ‘husks’. The hard choices she’d made before waking up in Heleus only to have to make even more. She stared down those memories and the path before them unflinchingly. Because who else would do it? 

He knew that feeling, that resolution. And he found himself wanting...well, the fact that he found himself wanting anything at all was astonishing. He’d never wanted anyone close to him, never wanted the cloying care of an adoptive family. He couldn’t tolerate it, didn’t deserve it. It was too much. But for a moment, he wanted...to take care of someone else. 

The giving of care to family was as important as receiving, as calming and instinctual to an Angaran. For years, he’d channeled that instinct into ensuring as many of his soldiers survived as possible, while still having to throttle it enough to be able to make the hard calls and sacrifices they had to make. Paraan had made no secret of wanting to be the outlet for any stifled instincts, but all he’d given her was enough frosty silence to discourage any further attempts. 

That was the last time anyone had even tried, and that had been years past. Yet now, with this strange human girl, he wanted to...what? Protect her? Absurd. He couldn’t protect anyone. He could only give them the tools and training to protect themselves. 

So tentatively his field had expanded, before he even consciously realized it, taking on soothing frequencies and vibrations gentler than she could sense, lulling her to calm and safety. Knowing Jaal had done so in the past, that he considered Ryder and the Tempest crew family enough, should have dissuaded Evfra. Ryder didn’t need him. There were plenty of people who could take care of her.

But he was there with her, not them. And she was tired. She needed rest. 

He needed her rested, of course. Certainly he could be logical about it and not act like a star-crossed fool. What harm could it do this once?

He snarled and tested his wrapped fist against a suspended, sand-filled bag the humans appropriately called a ‘punching bag’. It did a lot of bloody harm, as it turned out. Not just the gentle satisfying feeling of his field mingling with her albeit lower level bioelectricity and the strange brush of what could only be the element zero nodules that marked her biotic, but the physical touch. He hadn’t realized how deeply he’d wanted to hold someone, and Ryder…

_Stars_ , she was soft. He hadn’t expected that. Soft curves, soft skin, silken hair sweeping over his arm and cowl as he picked her up to move her to her bed. How did her head fit so perfectly beneath his chin, between the curves of his cowl? How was that possible? 

How was so much strength hidden within such gentleness?

Evfra hit the bag again, with some satisfaction as it swung wide under the force of his strike. He’d been trapped the previous night wondering how such softness would have held up against the tough Turian hide and solid plating. He didn’t get to be the head of the Resistance without knowing how to anonymously obtain data, and what he’d found had been...disconcerting. Not that his people were prudes by any means. Tastes in physical pleasure were just as varied as it seemed the Milky Way’s were. 

What had unsettled him was the recurring theme of human women and Turian men engaged in rough and purely carnal pleasure. As he’d said (and why,  _ why _ had he said it) disassociating physical pleasure from emotional connection wasn’t unheard of, but it wasn’t encouraged, either. It wasn’t easy for them in general to compartmentalize their emotions like that. 

If he were honest with himself, what really got under his skin was the amount of pleasure the human women seemed to take in the rough, passionate sex. Was that what intrigued Ryder about Kandros’s offer? Did she want to completely surrender like some of them or fight back with her own roughness in return like others? Would she bare her neck in invitation to his mouth, or would she want to be taken up against the wall, bent over a table, or - 

And there was his problem. Imagining himself there in place of a Turian or human or whomever else: his mouth over her pulse, his hands hooked under her bottom and lifting her body close. He could envision her eyes closed in rapture and the moans of pleasure in her voice brought from his touch. He’d gone from idle curiosity to full blown fantasy faster than his rational mind could keep pace, and his control was not at all helped by his...research. Now he knew what human women looked like bare and coupled with the knowledge of their softness, he’d be lying to say it wasn’t intensely alluring.

He wasn’t a celibate man by any means, but his occasional encounters with precious few trusted women were few and all to far between. While he felt friendship for them, they were always temporary. He was clear about that beforehand. On Voeld, where any daar may have to fight to the death the next day, most people were understanding. And he always kept it out of the Resistance. He couldn’t be with a subordinate, it wasn’t right. 

_ Ryder isn’t subordinate _ . 

He’d never wanted anyone with this intensity before. It was troubling. It was a distraction, and distractions made him weak. He knew his own faulty heart better than to think otherwise. 

Well, at least one way to work out both stress and weakness was a solid thrashing in the training ring. Fortunate that the military-minded of the Milky Way thought the same. 

No, he had to stop thinking of them as aliens from another galaxy. They were, but now if they were all to survive, he had to start thinking of them as allies and equals. Not interlopers. They were not the Kett. 

Thoughts of the Kett were more than enough to firmly squash any thoughts of ardor or lingering doubt about their joint mission. If this plan of survival was to work - if they were not only to survive, but thrive - he and the Pathfinder had to be leaders. Examples. He could not afford to be weak, and she could not be distracted. At least in this way, he could help her. 

…

  
  


She studiously avoided Lexi on her way to the gym. It was the smaller, more private training quarters the Pathfinders and their teams used, so at least at this hour she wouldn’t have an audience to her embarrassing defeat. Cora had a shift later with the recruits for her new biotic division, so not even she would be haunting around the lounge, staring wistfully at the idiotic trophies and mementos.

The new command would do wonders for Cora, and she’d be able to whip Scott into shape in no time. Sara would miss her competency as XO of the Tempest, but if she were completely honest with herself, it would be nice to have her grief over her father to herself for once. Let Cora share hers with Scott. They could bond over blaming Sara. 

Crew reassignments had kept her up most of the night. Starting off with some adjustments would be a little odd, though it made sense as she was re-defining her own role in the process. Besides, she couldn’t afford to have either Cora or Liam underfoot. Cora’s strengths were better applied elsewhere, and Liam...well. She couldn’t afford to have her attention divided again worrying about what stupid scrape Liam would drag her into. Let the hothead be someone else’s problem. 

And then there were Peebee and Drack to deal with replacing, which was...well. None of it was easy, and while everyone’s new roles were for the betterment of the bigger picture, it was still hard. She wasn’t even sure if Jaal would stay or want to be reassigned. It was a mess.

She could have spent the evening in much more pleasurable pursuits, but no, she had to still be honorable and responsible Sara Jane Ryder. 

Evfra was already making short work of a punching bag, so Sara launched into her stretching routine. She only winced once, which was progress. “I should have asked,” Evfra spoke into the comfortable silence, “are you medically cleared to spar?”

“Lexi hasn’t told me otherwise,” she said, moving through a fluid set of yoga poses to loosen her back muscles. The way Evfra’s eyes followed her movement was gratifying, though she was sure he was just studying the efficacy of her exercises. Still, a girl could dream.

He snorted. “That isn’t an answer.” 

“If I say ‘no’, will you just leave me bored and hanging here?”

“No,” he countered, “I’d simply go easy on you.” 

“Evfra,” she replied with a smile, getting to her feet and shaking out her arms, “when have I ever given you the impression I like things easy?”

For a moment, Sara could have sworn she heard a literal growl in his chest. Fleetingly, she wondered if it had been a bad idea to ask SAM for privacy. She hadn’t wanted his commentary to distract her as they sparred, but maybe she could have used the help deciphering Evfra’s reactions. 

Because the way he was looking at her shot heat through her core, and the clenched muscles had nothing to do with her warm up. 

“All right, then. Gloves?”

“Off. Biotics?”

“On. I’m curious. Electrics?”

“On. Same. You know the threshold of lethality for humans?”

He gave her a look. “I’ll keep it below serious injury. Your doctor asked me for tissue samples, and otherwise I fear she’d take them unwillingly out of my hide.” 

That made her laugh. “You’re not wrong. Let’s start low and see where it goes, yeah?”

He nodded. “Sounds good.” 

The match started out fairly normally. Evfra was light on his feet, which wasn’t surprising in a species with legs built for short bursts of incredible speed. He didn’t move as quickly as others she’d sparred with, but she could see his potential in the fluid, easy way he moved. He telegraphed some strikes, assessing the signs she watched for and those she didn’t. 

_ Focus on the eyes. No matter the species, the eyes will give intentions away. If they’re concealed, focus on the head. Minute movements in head angle can work just as well to show intention. Let your awareness settle there, and you’ll always be ready for whatever the limbs are doing.  _

She’d started combat training with her dad the minute she was old enough to hold a gun. Scott was a hell of a soldier, but he was too different, too emotional like their mother. Great shot, excellent with firearms, but messy and too reliant on strength in hand-to-hand. Out of the two of them, Sara had been the one with N7 potential, so her father thought. Scott had the charisma for a great leader, if he could get his temper under control, but she was the cool-headed tactician.

Sara was the one that beat their dad at chess. That was when he started taking her training even more seriously, even sending her out for defensive driving training and biotic combat work with his former protege, Eileen Shepard. 

In his journals, he’d worried that he never told his children how much he loved them. But Sara could see it in every strike she met, every leg sweep she dodged, every time his voice echoed in her head during a fight. He was always teaching her, every minute of every day. 

God, she missed him. 

In that moment of weakness, Evfra struck with a static-charged strike to her shoulder, throwing her off balance. 

_ Don’t fight being thrown. Accept it, lean into it, turn the momentum back to your advantage. _

Roll, kip up, low mass effect field to disrupt the grip of his feet on the mats. A surprised grunt from Evfra was almost as satisfying as landing a blow, which she finally managed next. High kicks were not within the range of motion allowed by Angaran or Kett leg structure, and he had no prepared movement to dodge, especially not knocked off balance as he was. 

Their knees and powerful muscles were incredibly effective at blocking leg kicks and sweeps, she’d learned the hard way with Jaal. Mass effect fields were the only way she’d managed to unbalance an Angaran. Turian legs were built similarly, but lighter, with feet far less gripping. Plating was usually the deterrent in leg-kicks without armored shin guards against a Turian, but they could still be upended by a well-placed heel hook. Salarians could be knocked off balance with a strong front kick to their shins, and Krogan...well, it was best not to get in close enough to a Krogan to worry about leg strikes, but if you did, you went for the ankles. Weak points. 

She’d tried a leg sweep once with Jaal and he’d just looked at her with confusion. Of course, then she’d landed a jab right on his nose. Which had almost been as funny as the time she got out of his hold by turning at a sharp angle and striking with a wide hook at the side of his head. His cowl absorbed most of the blow, but it had driven back his momentum. 

_ Your height is a disadvantage in most close quarters fights, especially with non-humans. Close the critical distance without them realizing it. Keep their hands busy, dodge and weave, but most of all have a plan for when you get in close. First strike is essential. Move fast. Uppercuts, wide hooks, keep your weight fluid, and stay off the line if they turn aggressive. Krogans like to rush and blitz. Flexibility will save you. Never just move. Never just strike. Move and strike. Strike and move.  _

Evfra was an average height for an Angaran male, neither exceptionally tall nor overly short. Shorter than Jaal, for certain, and most of the hescaarls she’d met, but taller than several recruits. It was obvious he had an advantage in being fluid with his fighting style. He could shut down most of her attempts to get close, easily recognizing her intention, and he had the advantage of reach in this fight. This would be close, even with biotics. 

The hairs on her arm started to stand on end, a sure sign of gathering electrostatic energy. His eyes gave nothing away on the direction of the strike, so she pushed out a low level concave field the minute she felt that energy release. She and Cora had worked out the finer details of curving fields out of boredom one day on the Tempest, testing its effectiveness at turning missiles into deadly boomerangs. They’d both been tired of holding up barriers against the heavy guns and turrets they ran into with both Kett and Remnant sites.

Gil had  _ not _ been happy about the damage they’d inflicted on the cargo hold. 

Cora was able to fine-tune a curve and give a little extra shove on her field that doubled the damage of reflected projectiles. Sara didn’t have that level of firepower with her biotics, but she did have exceptionally fine control thanks to SAM’s enhancement of her implant. Again, she managed a surprised grunt from Evfra.

This time, he was ready for her high kick, blocking it with his forearm and adjusting his weight quickly on the fly to push forward and knock her off balance. She leaned into the momentum and turned at another sharp angle, and he leaned back out of range of her uppercut, clearly expecting her to strike between his guard. Damn, he was good. 

He knocked her arm out of the way and began an aggressive pattern of jabs designed to drive her back. She lashed out with a front toe-kick, driving her foot in where the solar plexus would be on a human. Jaal was hardly shy about nakedness, and Sara had seen enough of Angaran anatomy to know there was a bit of a weak spot in the abdomen, as with most other species. Except Krogan, as a broken toe and a ton of swearing had proven when she tried that move on Drack. 

Most species with double-jointed knees tended to look at human and Asari legs as a disadvantage. Asari combat relied heavily on biotics, and no one screwed around with a commando. The pity over human legs generally ended quickly when one was the recipient of a good, solid high kick or toe jab. The force a human could gain by locking their knee and turning their shin into a weapon made up for the lack of sprinting speed bursts. Humans were built for distance and stamina. 

Jaal could beat her in a sprint any day, but she’d done laps around him when his energy flagged in a distance run on Eos. She could still recall his gasping exclamation that he couldn’t believe humans did this for  _ fun _ . That had at least gotten him to stop pestering her about what she did in her downtime to unwind. 

Evfra’s eyes went wide with a pained grunt as her kick effectively halted his forward momentum. He quickly brushed her foot with his bare hand, sending a jolt of electricity through her leg, causing her muscles to seize up and cramp. She swore roundly and took a diving roll to get away from him and recover. 

It only grew scrappier from that point onward, until they both were panting with exertion and it was unclear who had the upper hand at any moment. Biotics and static energy were well-matched as they wielded it, and they both were used to making up for deficiencies against a range of varied fighters. It was a fight of attrition at that point, and while humans were built for stamina, Ryder was still recovering from Meridian and out of practice. She was flagging, fast, and there was only so far adrenaline could carry her. 

The thought of conceding rankled, but it might have to come to it, otherwise she was likely to get herself seriously hurt unintentionally by one of Evfra’s laser-focused jabs. To avoid it, she’d ducked in close, though grappling wasn’t her strong suit. He’d have her pinned in no time, and she’d have to tap out. 

He did manage to sweep her knees with the reach of his long arms, and she slammed into the mats on her back. She’d braced for it, luckily, and the cushioning kept the wind from rushing out of her too badly. 

But he didn’t pin her legs. He only held her down by the shoulders. 

She barely gave him time to so much as blink before she wrapped her legs around his waist and used the biggest muscles in the human body to twist him off balance and reverse the pin. In a heartbeat she was on top of him, driving her knees into his thighs, with her elbow at his throat.

A low hum of energy rippled through him as she fought for her breath. His eyes swept over her face, expression unreadable, though she felt her own mouth twist into a satisfied smile. 

Until his hands settled on her hips and the ripple of energy grew stronger, and she could feel it through the thin barrier of their thin workout gear. It felt  _ incredible _ , and it was pure instinct to drive her hips back into his grip and press closer, wantonly seeking more of that feeling. His eyelids closed and he took a deep, shaking breath before pushing her firmly off of him. 

She hit the mat on her ass with a thud and absolutely no grace. Lust and adrenaline took longer than they should to clear out of her mind, and then she focused on Evfra’s turned back with an embarrassed groan. “Shit,” she swore. “Fuck. Evfra, I am so, so sorry. That was completely unintentional, and unforgivable of me. I didn’t anticipate the effect of bioelectrics on...well, on parts of my physiology, but that is absolutely no excuse. I’m an adult and should have better control over myself. I…” 

She was not going to cry out of embarrassment and shame. What the hell was wrong with her? “Sorry,” she finished, lamely.

If she sacrificed this entire alliance out of her own biological idiocy, she would never forgive herself. She should just go seek out Vidal before he left, make it clear there were no expectations and no strings, and just...just get herself taken care of so she could get it off her mind. 

But she didn’t want Vidal. Or Kandros. Or mindless sex. Not really.

She wanted Evfra. 

“You’re young,” he told her, still not turning around. “That kind of control comes in time. I’ve seen it in green recruits before.” 

Sara winced, and looked away from the firm set of his shoulders, wondering if he spent time thinking of exactly what words would sting the most. “That still doesn’t make it okay,” she told him, her voice hoarse.

He sighed. “It’s fine, Pathfinder. Go clean up. You humans sweat a lot. I’ll see you in the afternoon briefing.” He gathered up his gear bag and left the gym without looking at her. 

Sara groaned again and fell backward on the mat, throwing an arm across her eyes. So she was gross, uncontrolled, and inexperienced. Awesome. Well, that was one way to crush a libido. 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. 

…

  
  


With the Initiative colony on Voeld, the Nexus was no longer under water rations as they were the only other time he’d visited. Which was good, because the amount of time Evfra spent staring at the blank wall of the shower would have run him out of his allotment before he’d even cleaned himself. 

It had taken diving into the worst memories of his childhood, the smell of his mothers’ blood, to wrangle his arousal under control back in the gymnasium. He couldn’t face Ryder with it, not when she had no idea what she’d done to him, what he’d inadvertently done to her. 

It was his own damn fault for not looking more closely at the training videos of humans fighting. He’d focused on the apparently stronger species like Krogan and Turian, and only paid passing attention to the others. Enough to assess that he could get around Asari biotics and was stronger than most humans. None of Jaal’s reports about sparring with the Pathfinder had gone on as long as their bout had, and Jaal had never gotten in close quarters with her like that. 

Human legs. Evfra groaned and pressed his forehead into the cold white tile of the shower wall. The way she’d wrapped around him like a serpent, flipping him over and then straddling him, with the heat of her body centered directly over his...stars and skies, he’d never been more turned on in his life. With her smug expression of victory and the pheromones he could smell in her sweat, he’d had a strong surge of desire to simply take her there on the gym floor and mark her as his. 

His research had indicated that human noses didn’t pick up on hormone signals like some others did, which was also apparently a reason Turian men found human women attractive, despite the differing visual sexual signals. Turian, Angaran, and Krogan olfactory senses were clearly very similar, with Krogans being the most powerful. Humans also couldn’t control their hormone secretion, unlike the Asari and Salarians. 

So no, she had no idea what her scent did to him and wasn’t doing it on purpose, and he had absolutely no justification for sending out that overtly sexual pulse of his field. Even if he had learned that it had a similar effect on human women as Angaran. Any Angara would have immediately recognized that pulse as a question and known how to respond. Ryder had no knowledge and was simply caught up in base instinct. 

She was out there now, beating herself up over her lack of control, and instead of explaining his own and taking ownership, he’d shifted the blame onto her like an absolute motherless coward. 

The only way forward was to be as professional as possible. He needed her help on Voeld to take out that exaltation base once and for all. He’d find some way to bolster what confidence he’d managed to poke holes in today, somehow. Without backtracking and explaining that she had the capability to reduce him to a whimpering mess of desire. 

Skutt. Skutt, skutt, skutt. 


	5. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ryder family's a bit of a mess in this story. Scott comes off as a gigantic asshole, but he's also suffering. He just processes grief differently. And poorly. Sara bottles too much, and it doesn't go well here.
> 
> CW: depiction of a panic attack
> 
> This story was intended as an angsty slow burn, but it turns out I'm not great at that. There'll still be a bit of angst, but more like simple story drama rather than the traditional fanfic definition. These two are just *tired*, man, and they want a hug. 
> 
> Important to note: SAM ships it.
> 
> Also important to note: In replaying Andromeda, while I do interpret Evfra as more reserved than most Angara, he does exhibit a range of emotions in his dialogue with the Pathfinder, the Moshae, and in his written communication. I don't see him as cold - gruff, distrustful, and blunt certainly. But not emotionless and cold. My interpretation of Evfra here has his own trauma to overcome, and fits about as well with his own culture as Sara does with the Nexus. Which is to say: sometimes, but still a bit of an outsider among their own and isolated in positions of leadership.

“All right,” she said, keying up the ship-board holo-map, “everyone settled in and got their gear stowed?” 

“Yes, Pathfinder,” Vederia Damali chimed in from her stance next to Ryder. Cora had understood the need for reassignments across the shifting Initiative, with the Heleus Cluster Collective formation underway. She had managed to snag Vederia from Sarissa’s patrol, and Sarissa had agreed with the reassignment in order to get Vederia more experience with a less intimidating Pathfinder than someone with Sarissa’s storied history. “We’ve got everyone settled comfortably in crew quarters save a few exceptions. Vorn’s been set up in the botany lab, due to, well, bunks not being built for Krogans. Jaal has requested continued use of the tech lab and General de Tershaav has opted to bunk with him on the route to Voeld.” 

“Aw,” Peebee chirped, “cuddle puddle?”

Sara repressed a snort at the look on Evfra’s face. “Peebs, behave yourself in front of our guest.” 

Jaal laughed. “Why would she start now?” He threw the Asari an affection glance and pinched her side. Peebee grinned back at him. It was adorable, and also kind of sickening. She’d been half tempted to institute fraternization rules once learning that Jaal was staying aboard and Peebee requested a spot in order to stay near him. But that was catty and unworthy of her. Let someone be happy, at least. 

Vetra groaned from her place on Sara’s other side. “It’s going to be like this the whole time?”

Vederia narrowed her eyes. “It had better not be.” 

“Leave them be,” Sara told them. “Unless it interferes with anyone’s performance or mission, let the adults be adults, please. As long as no one,” and here she paused to fix Peebee with a stern look, knowing her tendency to go off on her own with little notice, “compromises the mission or disobeys a direct order, we’re good.” 

The scientist held up her hands in acknowledgement. “Mea culpa. Isn’t that the saying?”

“Good Latin, and yes. Okay, Vorn, doing good in the botany lab?”

The eager Krogan nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Er, Pathfinder. Sir. Ma’am.”

“‘Ryder’ is fine,” she told him, smiling. “I may be advising on a military initiative, but this vessel is still technically under the civilian wing.” 

“Unfortunately,” Vetra murmured, throwing Jaal and Peebee another look. 

This time Sara didn’t repress her snort. “That’s the most Turian thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Vetra gave her a dark look in response. 

“Drack, all good?”

“All good. New quarters suit me fine.”

“It’s the Medbay, Drack,” Peebee laughed.

Lexi rolled her eyes. “You used to sleep in an escape pod.”

“She’s got a point, kid. And technically, it’s Lexi’s cabin off the Medbay, but whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Peebee winced. “Oh, Goddess,  _ gross _ . It’s like that time I walked in on my parents embracing eternity.” 

Drack cackled. “And your dad was an Elcor, too...hah! Always wondered how that worked.”

“You know that’s not necessary with Asari,” Lexi chided. “Though it is possible. I’ve got diagrams.”

“Stop stop stop stop…” Peebee covered her auditory canals.

“Gil, Cain, things good in engineering?” Sara continued, overtop the drama playing out between Peebee, Lexi, and Drack. 

Gil nodded and simply gave a thumbs up, barely looking up from his datapad. She knew he was listening, though, and trusted him implicitly. Cain Fawkes was the new addition that she’d managed to swipe from Podoromos on an ‘exchange’ program with August Bradley. Liam Kosta was now firmly Bradley’s problem and out of Sara’s hair. 

There’d been a moment of brief remorse at pulling the strings to arrange the swap. Afterall, Liam had been with her since the very beginning on Habitat 7, had been there when her father died. But then she remembered the near-disaster they’d run into due entirely to Kosta’s impatience, and she was no longer sorry. Whatever her dad had seen in Liam hadn’t held up under the pressure of their arrival on Habitat 7 and everything that had gone badly since. Maybe Alec Ryder could have wrangled him back into shape, but Sara Ryder just did not have the energy. Besides, Liam was excited about a change-up. He’d be valuable at the settlement in a way he wasn’t on board the Tempest.

Fawkes was excited to prove himself in a new environment, as well. His brilliant designs on Podromos were being put into effect, and he was looking to sink his teeth into another challenge. He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, everything’s perfect, Pathfinder.” 

Kallo coughed and Gil patted him on the back. “You’ll get used to the drag from the new cannons, promise,” Gil drawled. “I’m working on making them retractable to reduce friction.”

The pilot sighed. “I recognize their essentiality. It’ll...I’ll get used to it, yes. And that would be nice, Gil, thank you.” 

“Atta boy,” Gil replied, still not looking up from his data pad. 

Lexi leaned over his shoulder and looked. “Are those the texts I gave you?”

At that, the engineer blushed. “I...uh, yeah. Thank you, Lexi.” 

Sara took a sip from the coffee mug in front of her only to realize it was Suvi’s tea, not her coffee. She made a face and put it down, apologizing to Suvi as she did so. “‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’?” she asked Gil. “Earth parenting classic.” 

“Don’t start with me Ryder.” 

“I never stopped.” 

Vorn looked at Gil and shifted his weight. “Hey, could I...borrow some of those parenting books? Just curious. You know, to, ah, see how other species raise their young and all.” Drack growled, and if a Krogan could turn pale, Vorn looked it. 

“Lexi, all good with med supplies? And, apparently, family planning guides?”

“All good,” she murmured, pointing to something a few paragraphs down from where Gil was reading to her from.

Behind Gil, she could see Evfra watching the proceedings with an inscrutable and doubtless disapproving expression. Whatever. He could go pound sand, she’d decided. Oscillating between anger and depression was exhausting. She had bigger problems to worry about. It was easy to disappear inside the Pathfinder now, letting the part of her that was just Sara...go away. Maybe ‘just Sara’ couldn’t survive in Andromeda any better than she had in the Milky Way.

The Pathfinder could  _ thrive _ . 

She gave one snap of her fingers and the old crew stood to attention. Or as close to attention as civilians got, in that they stopped messing around and knew it was time to focus. Vorn, Vederia, and Cain quickly followed suit. 

The holo-map shifted to SAM’s map of the Voeld exaltation station and the tone in the room shifted even further. Half the crew had been there, and the other half had read the reports of the horror show the Kett conducted within. “Three days to planetfall on Voeld, and I want ideas in hand before the first strategy session with Commander do Xeel. I’m leaning towards a strike force, but if frontal assault is the only option, I want smart solutions.”

Evfra stood and joined them. He pointed to the map. “I’ve uploaded geological scans at the request of the Pathfinder,” he said. “The ice sheet is constantly shifting, but the base is anchored into bedrock far below by these eight central supports.” 

“It’s been confirmed by Resistance intel that the Kett have changed the shielding frequencies in response to our hack. The Pathfinder council is working on a way to join all four SAMs together and harness combined processing power, but it’s delicate work. SAMs were not designed to interface that way. We’re making progress, but unfortunately time is a consideration.” Sara shifted to parade rest out of habit, a stance both comfortable and commanding. It was a habit shared by both her father and Scott. Their mother had referred to them all as her private army when she caught them all doing it unconsciously during a conversation. 

She nodded to Evfra, who continued, “We know the Kett haven’t restarted the facility. Intel suggests it takes them time to train or create a new Cardinal, and when the base went dark during the Moshae’s rescue, we had cells spring into action to simultaneously empty out as many holding camps as we could. With the Archon focused on Meridian and the Pathfinder, Kett forces weren’t allocated to refill the holding camps and exaltation base. Recent movements suggest that’s changing, and from what we know of this Primus from Ryder’s interactions with her, her focus will be solely on the Kett’s original mission of exalting the entire cluster. Fulfillment of that mission is what’s holding them here, and they can’t return to wherever their home is until it’s completed.” 

“We need to act fast,” Sara told them, “and with coordinated force in order to wipe out the remaining Kett in this cluster before their homeworld deigns to send reinforcements. We can’t bargain on them writing off this mission as a failure otherwise. If we take them out, and do it quickly, mercilessly, and thoroughly, it has a chance of acting as a deterrent from the Kett ever coming to this cluster again. To that end, the Tempest will be the tip of the spear in battlefield innovation, presenting a unified front of military and civilian efforts. At the same time we demolish the Kett, we need to bolster the Angara and the Initiative settlements and dig in our foothold. It starts with taking down this facility. SAM?”

“ _ During my original scans and documentation of the exaltation facility, _ ” SAM spoke through the center console, “ _ I mapped communication nodes that connect the facility to the Kett flagship, holding centers, and two secondary exaltation experimentation facilities on Voeld. With a re-configured version of the Trojan horse virus the Firefighter terrorist cell tried to use to disable me, it is possible to take down power and communications on all ground targets simultaneously by crippling their connection to the flagship. We would need to get inside the exaltation facility to access the main console, however, so the problem of the shield still remains. _ ” 

“Which is why I asked Evfra for geological scans,” Sara continued. “If we can’t go through the shield, we may be able to go under it, or damage the supports closest to the shield generator.” SAM helpfully lit up the relevant portions of the diagram for the team. “Once inside, we need to buy time to upload the virus and broadcast it. We’ll need to disable alarm systems and deal with the increased number of Kett soldiers now occupying the compound. I need feasible ideas. Biological neutralization tactics, mechanical, anything.”

Here she shifted her stance, and met the eyes of every crew member in sequence. “I want to make it crystal clear that we are in no way here to replicate the mistakes of our past. We’re not creating a genophage. We’re not assembling mass weapons of destruction. What we are doing is ensuring our survival and the survival of our allies as efficiently as we can without sacrificing the soul of our civilization before it even has a chance to stand. Any - and I mean  _ any _ \- tool we use here on the Tempest to disable the Kett’s advancement will pass rigorous vote by the Pathfinder council, this crew, and either the Moshae or Jaal as her chosen representative on whether or not the research is completely destroyed after use. You are all, every one of you, expected to adhere to that law of war.” 

“You got Tann to agree to that?” Drack asked, impressed.

“I didn’t give him a choice,” Sara answered honestly, “and neither can you with Morda. We’re at the forefront of this fight, and we’re the ones who will see consequences in action. They have to rely on our judgement on whether something fits with the revised parameters of the Heleus Collective Initiative’s guidance until we have a formal Council. Besides,” she added, “everyone loves the Moshae.” 

Evfra grunted in begrudging agreement. “We’ve supplied Angaran martial law as a base to start from, so it’s easily adaptable to the Resistance.” 

“ _ I’ve downloaded a copy of both the original Angaran martial code and the revised and expanded version adopted formally by the Initiative and the Heleus ambassador to everyone’s datapads. _ ” 

Sara smiled as there were a few stifled groans around the table. “Thank you, SAM. And yes, to that look, we’ve all got homework. Study up, friends. We’ve got galactic evil to fight, new worlds to explore, and an interplanetary civilization to build. Meeting adjourned.” 

…

Ryder had an interesting balance of leadership and friendliness among her crew, Evfra had to admit to himself. She wasn’t someone who could lead by intimidation, presence, or control in the way he’d grown accustomed, so she’d earned respect every other way she could. She was too young, still, and despite her success at everything thrown at her, still a little untried. But that reputation was building, and soon she’d be a leader on purely her own merit, not simply because her father had unilaterally decided she should be one. It began with her crew. 

There was a strength of will, a stubbornness to her that he recognized. Bold and decisive, yet she still had the one thing he’d felt withering within him for so many years: hope. He’d come to rely on pure determination, but Ryder still  _ hoped _ . That was more powerful than anything else, and her crew were drawn to it instinctively. 

They had faith in her, and she returned that respect to them. 

Still, he knew enough of the previous iteration of onboard personnel to see the shrewdness behind her reassignments. Clever, if a little cold, but then he could hardly fault that. It was the same calculus he performed in cell reassignments every day. It should reassure him to see, but instead, it was unsettling for reasons he couldn’t quite name. 

“What do you want from me, Scott?”

Her voice floated down the corridor from the kitchen, which was unfortunately where he’d been heading. He paused before the door, ducking out of sight. He could hear her rummaging around in the cupboards. 

A voice, tinny and distant as through broadcast through one of their omni-tools, answered, “I just want to know exactly what this is all about.” 

A grunt from Ryder and a pop followed by a swallowing sound indicated she’d found whatever she was looking for. “What do you mean, ‘what this is all about’? You think I stuck you with a shit detail?”

“I don’t...I mean...you know what, yeah. Yeah, I do. I’m not going to back down just because Sara used her ‘angry voice’.” 

“No,” Ryder responded, “you’re going to back down because you’re being a complete ass.” 

Her brother scoffed. “How am _ I _ being the asshole here?”

Ryder muttered something unintelligible under her breath before replying. “Should I just let you sit with that one for a minute?”

“I’m not asking for you to trade off being Pathfinder,” he responded acidly. “But I trained for part of that crew, not babysitting nervous biotics.” 

“The fact that you’re looking at this assignment like that indicates whatever training you think you have isn’t enough,” Ryder snapped. “What we trained for back in the Milky Way has absolutely no bearing on the current state of the Heleus Cluster. We in no way expected to be dropped into the middle of a war zone, and we’ve had to rewrite the rules on the fly just to stay alive. There is no grunt work when survival is on the line, Scott.”

“And yet you get the prime detail, as always. Daddy’s little girl.”

“Don’t you  _ fucking  _ start.” Ryder’s voice had gone deadly quiet. “You weren’t there. You don’t get to say shit about Dad to me.” 

“When did I ever?”

A cupboard door slammed shut. “You want to do this, Scott? Right now? You want to know about Dad and this ‘prime detail’ he stuck me with? Do you have any _ idea  _ the number of times I wake up sweating and unable to breathe through nightmares about suffocating on Habitat 7? How many times I see Dad’s face trying to tell me something - his last words that I will never know because he sacrificed his life for mine and I couldn’t hear him over the sound of my own gasping?” 

Ryder swore roundly, and Evfra could hear the shake of pain in her voice. “I never got time to say goodbye, or grieve, or even take a fucking breath. I had  _ two hours _ between waking up to find out that he was dead and I was the new Pathfinder before walking into an absolute shitshow on the Nexus. I fought through Addison’s dick-waving, Tann’s incompetence, a colony of pissed-off Krogan, a planet full of our own people turned into criminals an enemies by more absolute power-mongering bullshit, and allies who had every reason to mistrust our word to get us a fucking toehold in this galaxy. That’s it, that’s all we’ve got: a toehold that could crumble under us at any minute, and that’s only thanks to the assistance of the Angara - who, despite all the horrific shit they’ve had to endure at the hands of the Kett - still managed to somehow trust us enough to forge an alliance.” 

“And you think I couldn’t have done any of that,” her brother accused. “You’ve always looked at me like I was a failure, all of you.” 

“That’s not what any of this is about!  _ Christ _ , Scott.” There was a thumping noise and her voice became somewhat muffled. “It isn’t about your abilities. Of course you could have done it, and you would have, if our situation had been reversed. But it wasn’t. I’m the Pathfinder, not you.”

There was a long pause. “It doesn’t have to be like that. You could have traded off. You know SAM works for me the same way it does for you.”

“He’s not an it, Scott,” she answered wearily, and the utter exhaustion in her voice was the final straw for Evfra. “SAM is a person. AI is a valid form of life, even if it’s different from us.”

“Goddamn it, Sara, I  _ know _ that. Don’t turn my words around on me. I’m not saying - “

“It’s a moot point,” Evfra said as he entered, loud enough for the omni-tool to pick it up. “I work with Sara, not you. I don’t know you.” He reached over, picked up the tool from where it sat on the counter, and ended the call over squawking protests from the other end.

Ryder looked like hell. She stared at him as though unsure if she should be angry or thankful, and every expression seemed to wash over her face as she struggled for control. Her hair began to float around her face, and he could feel a build of energy within her. Evfra swore internally. He knew a breakdown when he saw one, and he had no idea what that would look like in someone with her abilities.

“Ryder,” he said firmly, reaching out and taking her arms, “what do you need? What can I do? Should I call your medic?” 

She took a shaky breath and her fists clenched on the table. “No,” she whispered. “No, I’m fine.” 

“ _ Sara, your cortisol levels are too high and your adrenaline is surging. I am having difficulty regulating it. _ ” SAM sounded concerned, which in turn worried Evfra. “ _ I do not know the best way for you to release this stress. Telling you to calm down usually results in the opposite. _ ” 

She exhaled suddenly, and gave a half-strangled laugh. But her hands were still clenched, her eyes distant. 

“SAM,” Evfra asked the AI, “is there a place on board the Pathfinder feels safe? Where she prefers to spend time?” He would get her settled and then wake the doctor, despite Ryder’s reluctance.

“ _ Her quarters _ ,” SAM answered. “ _ Around the corner. I’ve unlocked the door and adjusted the temperature down several degrees. Humans in a stressed or panicked state can have a parasympathetic nervous response triggered by pressure. I suggest blankets. She also has emergency medication for panic attacks. _ ” 

Evfra leaned down and gently took Ryder’s hands. Her eyes snapped to his. “I’m going to pick you up, Ryder.” He spoke slowly and as gently as he could manage. Her biotic power was simmering within her, and he really didn’t want to go slamming into the nearest bulkhead if he could help it. “Please trust me. Is this touch all right?”

She bit her lip and looked away. “I...I can get up-” she struggled to get words out between gasps of air. 

“Ryder - Sara, listen to me. I can see you’re trying not to break down where anyone can see you. I want to get you to safety and privacy. Come with me. Let me help you.” 

Weakly she nodded, and sniffed, trying to hold back her tears, which only led to more gasping. But she let him get his arms around her, and he lifted her easily. Her fingers gripped the back of his shirt and he could feel her blunt nails digging into his skin without her even realizing. 

The door slid open into her quarters. There were a few additional plants, but nothing much had changed since the night he’d talked with her on Meridian. Gently, he set her down on the bed. “SAM, what were you saying about blankets? I didn’t understand.”

“ _Humans evolved from pack mammals, General. They are social creatures and touch has many physical benefits. Their parasympathetic nervous system responds to pressure and calms the heart rate and suppresses the autonomic stress response. I have made it cold enough that the weight of several blankets can simulate such pressure without discomfort. It is inferior to physical person-to-person contact, but it will suffice._ _In the absence of reassuring physical contact, blankets have worked for Sara in the past.”_

Evfra frowned and placed a hand on Sara’s shoulder. Her eyes were completely distant now and she was struggling to take full breaths, her chest heaving uncomfortably. He placed a hand on her back and caressed it gently, entirely unsure if that gesture would carry comfort to a human. “Why would there be a lack of contact if humans need it?”

“ _ Contact is initiated only within familial groups and intimate partnership. Sara has no such family nor a romantic partner. _ ” 

“To be clear, humans find it comforting to be held?”

“ _Yes, General. It makes them feel ‘safe and warm’. I gather the ‘warm’ is not merely a temperature, but a general feeling of security and happiness. Those emotions are triggered by chemical release that also aid in reducing the ill effects of stress hormones._ _In other words, if you are willing to hug Sara, it may help reduce the duration of this panic attack. There are also pills in her desk drawer that assist, but her breathing must stabilize first._ ” 

He let SAM guide him to the medication and returned with the pills and water. Ryder’s breath was hitching distressingly as the dam burst within her and she cried. The sound of sorrow that worked its way out of her throat struck the same chord within his own body and Evfra had her in his arms faster than his mind could react. 

Ryder’s bed was piled with a variety of blankets, one of which was clearly bought in the Aya markets, with its lacy design. Another must have come from Techiix. He recognized the pattern printed onto the thickly layered fabric. That one he pulled around both of them, and he settled Ryder into his arms, bracing his back against the headboard of her bed, and holding her against his chest, between legs he managed to fold somewhat comfortably to the sides of her form. 

They fit together surprisingly well. 

“Let it out, Sara.” He caressed her back as reassuringly as he could. “I know humans think expressing strong emotion like this is weakness, but you’re not weak. You’re the strongest person I know.” He had no idea if she really even understood what he was saying through the sheer force of her sobbing tears. “You can’t face it until it’s out,” he said, remembering the words that were said to him so long ago, “so let it all out. Don’t be ashamed. You’re not alone.” 

He continued to speak to her while stroking her back and letting her soak his rofjinn in her saltwater tears. Sometimes he spoke in Shelesh, and other times he found himself reverting almost unconsciously to his old daar’s dialect, or even his family’s, which he hadn’t spoken in years. He’d recorded some of it once, for the Repository, as part of a project to keep their informal languages from dying out with the families that were killed by the Kett. It had been the hardest thing he’d ever done since walking out of a blizzard into Techiix as a bloodied, half-starved child. 

Yet now it flowed naturally out of him as he instinctively comforted Ryder. Her biotics began to calm, he thought, and he reached out with his field in a calming frequency, enveloping her in a way that was natural for all Angara with...well, with those they cared about or wished to take care of. 

Should he have fought this instinct? Possibly. But it felt natural with her, and he...he wanted to. It had been so long and he was so tired, and he knew she felt the same way from what SAM had just told him. Blankets were no substitute for the comfort of another. She’d walled herself off from it just as effectively as he had. 

She leaned into his embrace as his field touched her, her sobs finally slowing and her breathing growing more steady. At last, he could sense when she’d settled back into herself and realized exactly what was going on. She grew stiff under his hands, and buried her face into his rofjinn.

“Shit,” she swore softly, and he couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“You really are just as stubborn as I am,” he told her, amused. He tightened his arms around her and felt her hesitate for a moment before relaxing. “It’s all right, Sara. Even I need someone to be there for me when it gets to be too much. Not that it happens often,” he amended and was relieved to hear her snort in response. “But it happens. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” 

“Do you want me to let you go?”

“No.” 

“Are you going to look at me ever again?”

“Definitely not.” 

He laughed. She was the only person in what felt like ages that could genuinely make him laugh. Evfra sighed, and gave into the impulse to rest his nose in her hair. She smelled like herself. Always clean, but she never wore anything scented or cloying. The hair was as soft and silken as he remembered. “This isn’t the time to talk about it, but I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. About the training ring and what I said. You...unsettle me, Ryder. In ways I never expected. I don’t know what it means, and like a coward I put that on you. It wasn’t fair of me.”

She pulled away from him and did finally look at him, her eyes red-rimmed and her face a little puffy from crying. Humans were such curious creatures, always trying to control their expressive faces instead of embracing it for what it was. “Evfra…”

“We’re partners in this endeavor now. I’ve not had an equal before, not in the way that you are now. This is...new. When I decided to rebuild and shape the Resistance, I knew I had to keep everyone at arm’s length. I can’t let people close and then be afraid to lose them. I can’t play favorites for my own sanity, and I couldn’t ever be seen to if my people were to put their trust in me fully. It was easy at first. I told you I lost my family. I was taken in by another but it...it was too much, too raw, and I preferred to stay on my own. I was used to it. I didn’t want to replace the memory of my family with another. Instead, I made the idea of the whole of my people into my family and I defended it with every instinct in my body.” 

He cupped her face and heard her pull in a surprised breath and hold it. “I never expected to meet an alien that would fight for the Angara with the same amount of passion and determination. You shame me that I could not offer the same to your people, but that will change. I am slow to trust, I know this. I have to be. I must remain skeptical. But you proved me wrong at every turn, and I have never been more glad in my life to be wrong, Sara.” 

She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, tears once more falling down her soft cheeks. She stilled and opened her mouth, but he placed his thumb over her lips.  _ Stars _ , they were soft, too. Her eyes flew open. “Hush,” he told her firmly. “Don’t apologize for your feelings. Not to an Angaran. I may not be the prime example of openness and passion that Jaal is, but I am still one of my people. If you are sad, overwhelmed, or happy and simply need to cry, do so. It’s all right.” 

Ryder let out the breath she was holding and folded herself back into his arms, her head nestling between the sides of his cowl as though it was made to fit there. It was dangerous to let himself feel this deeply, he knew, but denying it hadn’t worked. It had only created more of a distraction for both of them. 

She sniffed and laughed softly, her breath tickling the skin of his neck. “I guess this means you don’t hate me.” 

“Hmm,” he said, resting his head atop hers. “Perhaps, Pathfinder. You are going to have to explain to Jaal why you need to know how to clean a rofjinn, though.” 

She laughed again. “Evfra?” She sighed, and her arms moved to wrap around his torso. It felt...right, somehow. With a mental start, he realized that she was triggering the return response to his care. It was something instinctual to an Angaran: giving and receiving comfort released anti-stress hormones. Usually, it was by tuning their fields, which may or may not be accompanied by physical touch. With Ryder - Sara - just her nearness and the feeling of her weight against him was enough to make him feel more relaxed. “What...what does this mean? Does it mean anything?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “All I can tell you is that right now, I want to be right where I am.” 

He felt her swallow. “Will you stay? Stay here tonight, I mean. I...not, like, sex or anything. I just...I haven’t….” She sighed again with what sounded like frustration. “Fine, I’ll try and be Angaran about this. I want to be held, by you, so I can feel safe and calm for the first time since coming to Andromeda. And I...I want to be near you. I don’t know what it means either, but I know I trust you and I want you to stay. But only if you want to stay, I mean.”

“Yes.” 

She blinked. “That’s it? It’s that easy?”

Evfra smiled and reached up to move the hair that had fallen across her face. “I told you I want to be here. It’s been a while since I was able to really live in the present, so yes. I want to stay here, with you in my arms, without worrying about what it means or what it will look like or who will care and who won’t. None of that matters, Sara. What matters is this moment.”

Her smile was beautiful. “Okay, then.” He let her go, just enough to fetch her water and medication. She took it gratefully. 

He pulled her down into the bedding and the haphazard pile of blankets, nestling them in comfortably after divesting themselves of any uncomfortable shoes and garments. She yawned, and he pulled her close, settling her back against his chest with one arm around her waist and the other nestled between her head and shoulder. Again, he was surprised at just how well they fit together. 

“Besides,” he told her quietly as she settled, “Jaal snores.” 

Her soft laughter followed him into sleep.

...

Sara woke up twice during the night, shaking and gasping. The argument with Scott had dredged up the trauma of Habitat 7 all over again. Both times, Evfra was there. A steady, calming presence that anchored her back to reality. 

Had she been able to really process what was happening, it would have been astounding. Evfra de Tershaav not only being kind and caring toward her, but he was there in her bed for all the world like he belonged. She would never have expected it outside of the wildest fantasies. But in the moment, it just felt...natural. It did feel like he belonged, like this was just something they did. She didn’t question it.

When the morning cycle started with her alarm, she woke up alone. It took her a few minutes to get her bearings, not used to sleeping in such a disarrangement of her shipboard casual clothes and blankets. 

“ _ Good morning, Sara. General de Tershaav asked me to remind you he and Jaal have a vidcon call with the Moshae scheduled this morning. He’d like to meet with you privately afterward. _ ” 

Sara blinked groggily and struggled toward her coffee maker. “Uh, yeah, sure. Can you bump back my supply chain meeting with Vetra? Ask her to meet with Cain first.” She stretched as the coffee maker stirred to life. “Also, SAM...what the fuck happened last night?”

“ _ Message to Vetra Nyx and Cain Fawkes sent. I presume you are not asking for a literal reconstruction of the previous evening. _ ” 

“No, though put a pin in that and send a note to Lexi asking for time to talk about a stronger prescription for anxiety and possible PTSD from Habitat 7.” She yawned and sifted through her cabinet to find a coffee mug and her container of shelf-stable cream substitute. “In your study of Angaran culture and literature and all that...can you tell me what the hell any of that was about? Not that I’m not grateful to Evfra, but it was unexpected. I feel like I’m missing something, and I don’t want to read more into the situation than is there. I’m not sure if you can understand that?”

SAM was silent for a moment, his silver-blue orb spinning on her desktop. It was a movement she’d come to associate with thoughtfulness. His processors were considering her question and running interpretation algorithms in the synthetic equivalent of an organic pondering the question. They were all computers, after all, on some level.

At that thought, something tickled the back of her mind and she froze. It was just out of her conscious grasp - some missing piece of information. Irritated with herself, she grabbed a pen and wrote down  _ everything is a computer _ in her journal. She’d come back to it later, when the thought worked itself free of her subconscious. One of Dad’s tricks. 

Ugh, she did not want to think about her father or her argument with Scott. She really didn’t. The thought of checking her email weighed on her like she’d swallowed a stone. There was bound to be a follow up volley from him there. 

Evfra. Right. Focus on what the hell was up with that. Not that she was complaining. It had felt so good to be held and comforted in a way she hadn’t been since childhood. To feel closeness with someone without expectation or fear of judgement. She’d thought of Evfra, felt drawn to him physically in several embarrassing ways, but she’d never thought about him in that context. How had it felt so...right, so natural? Was it just an Angaran thing she was missing? 

“ _ Partially _ ,” SAM told her, and she realized she’d been wondering aloud. “ _ The Angara revere family, as you know, but it is more than a cultural construct. With their bioelectric fields in constant flux based on solar radiation intake, Angara have the ability to regulate the charge by aligning their fields with other Angara. The larger the group that participates, the more even the spread of charge and the healthier the group becomes. This sharing of bioelectricity stimulates the release of calming chemicals, much the same way that certain physical contact does for humans. This has given rise to a cultural practice of caring for others that is central to Angaran culture on all worlds. The very act of giving care has become associated with this sharing, and in itself triggers the release of anti-stress biochemicals. _ ”

Sara sipped her coffee and considered the implications. “So it was Angaran instinct for Evfra to care for me when he found me having a panic attack in the mess?”

“ _ Correct, in part. But I have been studying signs of personal interest both biological and cultural in the Angara- _ ”

She narrowed her eyes at the sphere. “I thought I told you to leave that be.”

“ _ You did _ ,” SAM confirmed cheerfully. “ _ I already had some data from a previous inquiry by Peebee. I was simply expanding my own internal knowledge banks, not researching on your behalf. _ ” 

“You…” She couldn’t help a laugh. “That is...you really did pick up some tricks from Dad, didn’t you? All right, I’ll bite. Does Evfra have any physical interest in me, from what you can tell?”

“ _ Yes, Sara. He has a significant amount, from what I’m able to perceive. Were you Angaran, you would have been able to pick up on his signals immediately. As it is, Jaal noticed despite the general’s attempt to keep his bioelectrics closely held and he asked me to monitor the situation. He is concerned that Evfra may resent his own interest in an alien and take it out on you _ .” 

She felt a surprising sting of tears and a slight tightening of her throat at the thought of Jaal looking out for her like that. Even when Scott wasn’t being an ass, the two of them hadn’t been all that close since they were kids, before their mom was diagnosed as terminal and it threw their family into upheaval. In many ways, Jaal was more a brother than Scott had been in years, as unfair and selfish as that thought was. 

Scott just dealt with trauma differently, she knew this and tried to be objective about it. Always the peacekeeper. There was only so much she could shoulder before she broke, though. Lexi had warned her. And boy, had she broken into pieces last night. 

But Evfra was interested in her. Physically. 

As the last bit of sleep fog cleared from her mind, she considered the implications with growing excitement. “ _ Sara, your heart rate is increasing _ .” 

“Yeah it is,” she said with a grin. “Bump up my meeting with Lexi. Give me fifteen minutes to shower and clean up and then ask her to meet me in here. I have...questions.” 


	6. Personal Concerns

When Evfra woke in Ryder’s bed, he felt more energized than he had in a very long time. He had to struggle to keep the ridiculous smile off his face as he made his way back to the tech lab to change and freshen up. It was strange - he wasn’t sure if it was because of her biotics or simply the lower natural bioelectricity all life produced, but he didn’t feel the lack of an Angaran field. If anything, its absence was more soothing. It was calming to be near Ryder without feeling that oppressive weight of expectation in the press of another’s field. 

She looked so vulnerable curled around a pillow with her hair in a messy halo around her head, and he felt a surge of affection. He didn’t bother to stifle it. Whether or not either of them would act further on this...well that remained to be seen. But he was enough of an Angaran to find the idea of completely ignoring his feelings repugnant. It was hypocritical of him to push her to let out her own pain so she could deal with it in one breath and then deny his own conflicted feelings in the other. 

He didn’t like that she’d suffered, he wasn’t a monster, despite what some may think. Yet it did perversely make it easier to let go of his more irrational anger to see her so discomposed. It evened their standing. She knew pain. She wasn’t cavalier and arrogant about the suffering of his people, and wouldn’t be about his own, if he ever told her. If he was ever able. She cared deeply, even if she held onto this bizarre human equation of strength with emotional control. Stoicism, it was called. Jaal had complained about it. 

And he was just so tired of fighting his growing attraction to her. It wasn’t natural to repress it. Some would find it unnatural to be attracted to an alien in the first place, but that couldn’t be helped. There would be comments on any relationship he might have. There were comments and speculation enough about this new partnership. What difference did more make? 

Not that anyone would dare make a comment to his face. 

Except Jaal. Evfra groaned inwardly as he made his way out of the tech lab to the conference room to find Jaal waiting for him with a face like thunder and a field to match. “What,” his lieutenant snapped, “do you think you are doing, Evfra?”

Evfra stilled and pulled in his field, refusing to play this game with Jaal. “I don’t recall making my personal concerns yours.” 

Annoyance rumbled in Jaal’s chest. “I am concerned for Ryder’s sake, not yours. I care about her a great deal; we all do.” He shifted. “You did not return to the tech lab last night, and when I asked SAM, he said you were ‘meeting with the Pathfinder’. How did your ‘meeting’ go?” He bit out the word with sarcasm. 

Evfra stared him down until Jaal finally relented and broke eye contact. “Insofar as you are concerned, Jaal, it went just fine. Any more information you’ll have to ask the Pathfinder for, is that understood? Our trust is new, and I will not betray it.” 

Jaal tilted his head, considering Evfra’s statement. “Just...don’t hurt her. Please.” 

That drew the corners of his mouth into a small smile. “I heard her say the same thing to your little mad Asari scientist about you.” 

Jaal eased his stance and laughed, queuing up the Moshae on the vidcon. “Her family is not what it should be.” Evfra nodded, remembering the call that had triggered her breakdown the previous evening. “At times, I think she looks to me as she might with an elder brother. I will admit I was fascinated by Rdyer at first, but we’ve settled into an easy relationship that is as comforting as if she were another sibling and not an alien. Peculiar and extraordinary, perhaps, but then, so is she. Even Peebee loves her, and Peebee doesn’t like getting attached to anyone.” 

“Except you, apparently.”

He shrugged and smiled smugly. “Debatable at times, but even the debates have their benefits. Pelassaria is a remarkably passionate woman.” His smile widened into a grin. “She’s curious to see if Asari can conceive with the Angara, and I confess, the idea is appealing. It’s not how I imagined adding to the family, but I...want to try.” 

Evfra blinked. “Well, that’s something. Good luck. You’ll make an excellent father, Jaal.” 

“Thank you.” Jaal laughed and looked pleased at this praise. “Not yet, mind you. Neither of us want to give up this adventure quite yet.” He business himself with the vidcon console and pulling up notes for their discussion. 

Children. With other species. 

The thought had never occurred to him, even after reading up on the different Milky Way species and the Asari’s method of reproduction. None of the others interbred with each other, not successfully. 

He didn’t need to be thinking about children. He’d never even planned to have a family with an Angaran, and he certainly didn’t need to complicate whatever this was that was growing with Ryder. It wasn’t like he had time for a family, and he didn’t believe in the reincarnation tenet anyway. 

He couldn’t. Because if he did believe, and he never had children, those souls were lost forever. He refused to believe in it. It was just superstition and there was certainly a reason why some Angara had memories or visions of “past lives”, especially now that they knew the truth about their origins. 

So it didn’t matter anyway. 

Shaking the disquiet away, he focused on the meeting ahead of him. The Moshae demanded all of his attention, simply to keep up with her. Out of respect, he would give her no less.

…

  
  


Sara had fully intended on welcoming Evfra into their meeting more professionally, and had even cleared off the small table in her sitting area. But she lost track of the time while working, and when the door opened to admit him, she saw him halt in his tracks and look questioningly down at the floor. 

Across it was strewn a veritable maze of data pads, physical pen and paper sketches, notes, and a few pieces of inert Remtech. In one area, she’d pulled over a few of her potted plants to represent biological samples, and they were quite inconveniently placed in front of the door. She blinked at him. “Sorry! Hold on.” 

He watched her, bemused, as she scooted items out of his way and made a path through the paperwork forest. He glanced up at the ceiling, and took in her dimmed windows. “Is that the map from the Aya vault?”

She’d had SAM pin a projection of the map near the cabin ceiling. “Yeah, uh, again, sorry. I was working and wasn’t paying attention to the time.” 

“What were you working on?” he leaned forward from the seat she’d waved him into and studied the data pad nearest his foot. “Redecorating? If so, I have some notes on human taste.” 

Sara flushed a little. “It’s...hard to explain. I was looking for patterns.” 

He raised a brow ridge at her. Good to know that gesture was universal. “Patterns. Data patterns?”

“Among other things,” she admitted. “Something’s bothering me, and I don’t know what.” She blew out a breath and ran a hand through hair that was tidy at one point. “I had a thought this morning, and for a split second it was like I could see the whole-” she gestured widely with her hands “-whole, I don’t know, everything. With the Remnant. But it’s not clear.” 

“Ryder,” he said slowly, “I’m going to ask you something and I need you to stay calm.” 

She blinked at him again. “Huh, what?”

“Are you feeling all right? You seem very agitated. If it’s because of last night…”

Sara blushed, to her annoyance, though she wasn’t sure if he’d understand what that meant. “Oh, um, no, it’s not that. I’m just...this is how I think.” She shrugged one shoulder self-consciously. “Dad always said the human subconscious was vastly underutilized. It was his method of working through complex problems: absorb information, let it stew, and eventually the pattern emerges. SAM, can you explain it better?”

“ _ Pattern recognition is a particular evolutionary strength of humanity, General, _ ” SAM helpfully provided. “ _ The human mind is so skilled at analyzing patterns that it can even be a detriment, leading to the development of a system to classify fallacies in logical reasoning. It is a trait they share with Salarians, though the Salarians process at higher speeds and in general humans may have a wider, more creative interpretation of data. _ ” 

Evfra snorted lightly. “Aren’t you a little biased, SAM? You were created by a human.” 

“ _ A good point, General. However, development of the iterations of my programming for the other arks was filtered through scientists from each species, and we regularly collate data in order to weed out implicit bias as far as any objective lifeform can do so _ .” 

He lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile. “I become more impressed with you by the day, SAM. Would you like to come work for the Resistance?”

Sara tilted her head. “That’s a good idea, actually.” 

Evfra glanced at her skeptically. “I thought he was connected to you?”

“He is. This SAM is. But the other SAMs aren’t connected that way to their Pathfinders. We could give the Resistance a copy of a SAM’s operating code base and configure it to the Angara. What do you think, SAM?” She snorted to herself. “Wanna make a baby?”

“ _ While procreation is a driving force of organic life, the need for it is not built into my current processing matrix. I admit, I am intrigued by the idea, but I am not certain if that is simply my coded desire for new experiences. Apart from your flippant question, it seems a wise step to strengthen our alliance by providing the Resistance with a SAM Node of some variety _ .” 

Her shoulders shook with repressed laughter and she glanced at Evfra. “His official humor program is awful, but he seems to intrinsically understand sarcasm and sass.” She shook her head slightly, a small tug of pain in the center of her chest that made her eyes sting. “He really is like Dad sometimes.” 

Evfra seemed to pick up on the shift in her mood, and turned to her desktop SAM interface. “I want to speak further with you about an AI for the Resistance, but would you mind giving us some privacy for the next little while? If you’re able.”

“ _I am_ ,” SAM confirmed. “ _I’ve cleared the Pathfinder’s schedule for an hour, omni-tool communications are on standby, and the door is firmly locked. You will not be interrupted._ _Enjoy.”_

Sara groaned and pressed her palms into her face in embarrassment. “If he had a body, I’d throttle him.” 

Evfra blinked. “What did he mean by ‘enjoy’?”

She cleared her throat. “Uh...nothing. He’s just taken to saying it whenever privacy mode is engaged.” 

His lip twitched. “And what do you tend to engage privacy mode for, Ryder?”

She glared at him and he chuckled. “Don’t start.”

“Too late, Sara,” he said, and his voice was pitched low, almost a purr. It did...things...to her fluttering stomach. And lower. “I want to talk about last night, and where it might go or not from here.”

Several steadying breaths were needed. The Angara were direct, one had to give them credit for that. “Where, um, where do you want it to go?”

He leveled a look at her. “You first.” 

“I don’t know what I want,” she answered honestly. She started pacing out of habit, arms folded protectively across her chest as though she could keep her beating heart calm that way. She had to be direct, but God it was more difficult than she’d expected. It was one thing to be decisive in leadership and combat, but another to try and parse her desires and needs and then vocalize them. It just wasn’t what she did. 

Her father’s daughter.

Damn it, she did not want to end up like him, isolating everyone who tried to get close and freezing them all except the most stubborn and accepting. A hedgehog, her mother called him. You just had to know which way to stroke the quills. 

Sara ran a hand through her hair in frustration as Evfra watched her in patient silence. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be a hedgehog, to keep distancing people. It was easy to find reasons: they were crew, they were interested in someone else, there were other concerns, they couldn’t be interested, she’d only get hurt. 

Evfra had admitted his own fear and fault. She could do no less, out of respect if nothing else. “Okay,” she said, and then cleared her throat again when her voice came out thin and raspy. “If you’d asked me that a few weeks ago, I’d have said that I just wanted a fling. Something casual,” she explained. “Not necessarily just sex, but not anything that added responsibilities and more choices.”

“And now?” he asked.

“Now I feel confused. I...I’m lonely, and I still want someone. I want to be held and comforted and cared for. It felt so good, and I’m just not used to getting that. I’m always the one giving, you know? I don’t begrudge it, it’s who I am and what I do, right? I’m the Pathfinder, and not just as a job. I think Dad knew that when he made his split decision to transfer SAM to me instead of Cora. If I could hold our family together with nothing but willpower, maybe I could succeed here. I think.”

She turned to face him. “I also don’t just want anyone. I’m not good with letting people see me vulnerable. I know you find it odd in humans, but it’s still who I am, even before having to be a leader. I don’t like letting people get in close quarters where they can hurt me. Everyone else I’ve found reasons for not getting close to. No one has made me actually push down my own defenses to let them in. Except, well, you. I want you. Physically, sure - I’ve never been with anyone who wasn’t human, but I know people do have relationships across species. I mean, my people do. But it’s not just physical. It’s emotional. Even before last night, even as much as we’ve snapped or been irritated with each other, I’ve always known where I stood with you and respected that. I respect you. And I trust you. And you made me feel safe, when you didn’t have to and-”

She might have kept rattling on, except she was interrupted quite suddenly by Evfra reaching out and pulling her close. “We are in agreement again, Pathfinder,” he murmured, lifting a hand to stroke her hair. “I feel the same. I should be shocked at myself, or confused, but I’m not. Instead, I find myself curious and excited.” He gently placed his forehead against hers, and she sighed at the feeling of contentment it fostered. “You give me  _ hope _ , Sara. I didn’t want it at first. Hope is dangerous. Yet I can’t seem to resist it, and I’m tired of trying.” 

It felt so good and so right to wrap her arms around his midsection and lean her head between the folds of his cowl. She could hear his heartbeat from there, and marveled that it kept the same rhythm as her own. “Will your people understand?”

His hand slid gently over her hair in soothing motions, though by the extent to which he seemed fascinated by it, she wasn’t sure who felt the benefit the most. “I struggle to think of anyone whose opinion I could possibly care about.” 

“Paraan?”

“Hah,” he snorted. “No. Besides, Paraan is a born diplomat. She’d see all sorts of advantages for the Angara.”

“The Moshae?”

“I respect her opinion, but she does not govern me. What will your Nexus think?”

Sara laughed. “I could honestly care less. I’ve had an escape route planned since the moment Addison first cursed me out. They’ve always been in disarray. Tann’s at least easy to maneuver. He’s happy to have someone else make the decisions as long as he can claim a little of the credit. Their hearts are in the right place, but they handled things so poorly with the Uprising, and it put us at a hell of a disadvantage for far too long. So, no, I don’t give two figs what they think.” 

He cocked his head. “My translator didn’t quite catch all of that, but I think I got the sentiment. What is a ‘fig’?”

She smiled. “A fruit from Earth. Enjoyed by humans for thousands of years. Features prominently in a lot of folklore and religions. I’ve never really understood why. I mean, they taste good, but they’re not mangoes or peaches. Though I’ve always been partial to blackberries and wild blueberries. My mom used to make this blueberry pie every summer. I miss it. I miss her.” 

“I understand,” he said softly, and by the echo of pain in his voice, she knew he did. 

“Sorry,” she murmured into the skin of his neck. “I didn’t mean to bring down the mood here. What were we talking about?”

“Us.” His hand stilled in her hair. “Sara, how do humans express affection? Physically, I mean. Not sex; I’m sure we can figure that out just fine. Culturally, though. For example, Angara don’t hold bare hands unless they’re extremely intimate and in a private setting, spiritual leaders aside. We also have something called a - I’m not sure if you have a word for it - a kiss.” 

She couldn’t help the grin that spread over her face. “Yeah, we have that.” 

“Good,” he purred. 

Kissing Evfra was a revelatory experience. She’d never been big on kissing before, and would be the first to admit it was likely because she’d never had a  _ good _ kiss. And now, she’d never have a kiss quite as good as this one ever again. 

Storybooks, fairytales, romance novels...all the cheesy vids her mother loved. They had it right. Her toes literally curled and she practically melted into his arms. 

His skin was slightly rougher than hers, and combined with the low energy of his field at rest, it created a tingling friction that set the sensitive nerves in her lips on fire. In the  _ best _ way. A fizzing line of pleasure curled through her body, spreading southward quickly from her mouth. 

He pulled back far too soon. “I’ve wanted to do that since you stormed into my office yelling about trust after Kadara. If only to shut you up.” 

Sara willed any witty comeback to form between her brain and her tongue, but it was useless. 

Evfra chuckled. “It seems it would have been effective.” 

She grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him down roughly to kiss her again. It was Evfra who was caught off balance this time as she darted her tongue out experimentally. He couldn’t seem to help the slight moan that escaped him, and she took advantage of his parted lips to slip her tongue into his mouth delicately. 

He seemed surprised, but when she found his own tongue with hers, he groaned again and shivered. She could feel a little spark of static come off him in her fingertips and took it as encouragement. In no time he was meeting her on even ground, and it was only the demand for oxygen that made her break away. 

They were both breathing a little heavily. “That was...new,” Evfra admitted. 

Her omni-tool pinged an irritating reminder that their time was almost up, and she had a meeting with Vetra, then Peebee. Then an all-hands review of data. She muttered a curse under her breath, and he laughed again. “Just think how much new territory we can chart together,” she told him, then winced at the cheesiness of it. 

Evfra gave a snort and pulled her close. “Shut up, Sara.” 

They stood there for another few minutes, simply holding each other. “Will you...that is, would you want to come back tonight?”

“I want to,” he told her, stepping back a little and brushing her hair away from her face. He seemed fascinated by it, and every touch was soothing in a way she hadn’t expected. “But only to be near you, or to talk more. Maybe actually have the briefing we were supposed to be having now. Make no mistake, Sara Ryder, I want to have sex with you. But I want to take my time, and I don’t want to be quiet about it. I don’t think shipboard is the best place.”

She grinned. “Heavy petting it is, then.” 

“That didn’t translate.” 

“I’m sure I can provide an adequate demonstration later.” She leaned up on tiptoe and pressed a quick peck to the end of his nose. He blinked those galaxy eyes at her in surprise, then smiled a genuine, warm smile. It transformed his face and she found it incredibly effective at robbing her completely of breath. 

“I’ll look forward to it, then.” 

He let go of her reluctantly and left her cabin. For a solid few minutes, she simply stared at the doors that had closed behind him. 

She had no idea what any of this meant, but for once in her life she wanted to be as reckless as her twin. That was a terrifying feeling, but...exhilarating. 

“SAM,” she said, finally, “you can come back now. Let Vetra know I’m headed her way.” 


	7. Coordinates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but a sign to show I'm still working on it. Things are just crazy right now, as they are for everyone.

Evfra spent the next few days on board the Tempest learning more about Ryder, both professionally and personally. He hadn’t sought out new information, but he found himself paying closer attention to her, almost instinctively. She’d already shown him her strategic intelligence time and again, but he was gaining new admiration for the depth of her mind. Sara wasn’t of the engineering bent that the Moshae was, but she excelled at puzzles, tactics, codes, mathematics. Where the Moshae could figure out how to build something incredible, Sara could tell you why it was able to work the way it did. At times, it could be a little unnerving - as though she could see a reality past the reality everyone else experienced. 

She was growing into her leadership, for all that she never expected to be a leader. The human N7 program was largely composed of individual agents within their military, much like his hescaarls. She’d expected and trained to be an operative: in command on occasion, but largely working in small groups or on solitary missions. 

Grumbling over her messages, Sara had asked him what his secret was. “You’re a soldier,” he told her, “and a tactician. Be that. Don’t meet them on their ground, make them come to you.” 

“So if I want you to kiss me right now…”

He’d set his datapad aside and leaned back into the sofa. “I’m over here.” 

They were careful not to cross any physical lines that would make either of them uncomfortable before such a mission as the one ahead of them. Mostly, they talked. He’d begun reading histories of her planet, and found it far more fascinating than expected. Jaal had talked excitedly of all his learning, especially the poetry and arts of the different Milky Way civilizations. It was all rather compelling, considering their own lack of such scope of history. 

Evfra found the resilience and convoluted diversity of human culture particularly interesting. His second favorite were the Turian military histories, but those were largely informative and useful. The human histories were also quite telling, but he found himself drawn into the sheer drama and vibrancy of folktales, religions, legends, the shifting pattern of the rise and fall of different empires. Their languages rivaled the different dialects spoken among his own people, and he found himself wondering about the depth his own culture might have achieved had they evolved and not been...well. Created. 

When he grew maudlin about it, Sara gently reminded him that the Angara were their own people, and their culture was deep and fascinating in its own right. Not to mention the excitement of shaping their own future: a future without the Kett, and one day perhaps without relying on the Remnant technology. “I know the Angara ‘thirst for now’, as Jaal put it once,” she said, “but is it so terrible to dream? To lay down the groundwork to make that dream reality?”

He asked her question after question, and she patiently dug through files to bring up relevant images and related texts. She grew animated during these discussions and talked about the past with such passion and wonder that he expressed surprise she’d ever leave Earth behind. Sara had shrugged and told him she could never sit still while there was more out there to see. 

And indeed, that seemed to be a defining characteristic of almost every civilization on her planet: they kept going. They kept expanding, kept exploring. It wasn’t always peaceful and in fact was rarely so until closer to Sara’s own time, but the driving force behind it was still the same. What else is there? What is beyond the horizon? What is beyond their moon? What is beyond their solar system? 

From what they knew of their history, the Angara had been similar before the Scourge. Ever since then, they’d merely been surviving. Sara’s excitement and enthusiasm for everything new, even Peebee’s unbridled energy, was all together infectious. It woke the mirrored curiosity and wonder within his own heart that he’d kept shuttered for over a decade. How much longer had his people kept their similar hopes dark in the face of such adversity? 

Raucous cheering from the cargo bay drew his attention away from his own ponderings and Jaal’s analysis of their intelligence reports. They migrated closer to the window that overlooked the bay below, and Evfra’s brow ridge rose in surprise as he took in the scene. 

Ryder, Peebee, Suvi, and that Fawkes fellow were all seated on the floor in a way that made Evfra’s knees hurt to look at, and they were surrounded by all sorts of pieces and bits of Remnant technology. At a sharp, animal-like whistle from Ryder, out of the pile rose one of the levitating bots they called Observers. It glowed with a friendly green light, and its eezo channels pulsed in time with its almost content hum. Ryder gave another, differing whistle, and the Observer moved accordingly. She went through three different whistled commands, and he absolutely was not considering the versatility of her mouth and tongue. 

Beside him, Jaal also stared. “I thought she was joking.” 

“About the Observer? You knew that was their ‘secret’ project. Couldn’t have been more obvious.” 

Jaal chuckled. “Of course. This isn’t Peebee’s first attempt at recreating one of the Remnant bots. For some reason the Observers are easier to hack. No, I meant Sara. She said, if I recall correctly, ‘I’m tired of shouting, so I’m just going to train it to respond to commands like my old dog’. Apparently training whatever a dog is involves a lot of those odd whistling noises.” 

“Ah, I’ve read about those. A domesticated animal humans keep as pets. Highly trainable in a variety of tasks. Pity they didn’t bring them to Andromeda; they sound useful, particularly in cold environments. Adhi are not as cooperative, though I suppose it might be worth investigating a domestication program. On Havarl?”

Jaal hummed thoughtfully. “The Sages thought adhi were domesticated at one point, so it might be possible. I’ll send a note to Kiiran Dals.”

“Good,” Evfra approved. 

“Pathfinder,” SAM’s voice intruded over the intercom, “I’ve completed the cycle of calculations on the drive core from the Archon’s flagship.” 

Everyone shot to their feet in a clatter of mechanics and curses. Ryder was the first up the ramp, nearly colliding with Jaal as she rounded the corner. The Observer hovered over her shoulder, forgotten. “Conference room,” she said, then disappeared down the hall toward the ladders. 

Evfra and Jaal traded a look, then followed. 

Sara stood hunched over the conference table, those long, slender, and dexterous fingers moving rapidly through a maze of star maps. A look of triumph was highlighted by the reflected blue light of the holographic projections. “Got them.” She grinned wolfishly. “G1. The Pegasus Cluster.” 

Evfra tilted his head at her curiously. “The Kett homeworld?”

“ _ Not as precise as that, General, but approximate within five parsecs.”  _

Ryder stood back and crossed her arms. “When the Archon kidnapped Scott and SAM along with him, SAM was able to partition away a portion of his consciousness and dedicate it to copying the flagship drive core. It contains a lot of data, and as we hypothesized, the Kett had attempted to wipe their origin coordinates.” 

Peebee frowned. “Why would they do that? It would make it harder to get home. You’d have to hope someone remembered the way.” 

“Precisely,” Ryder agreed. “That was the point, Peebs. They weren’t going anywhere until they’d finished what they came here to do, and erasing the data meant that every subordinate was reliant upon the Archon. We suspect not even the Primus knew the way, though she’s clever enough to figure it out, which is another reason we need to clean house. It is also conceivable that the Kett’s Senate intends to send the coordinates for return upon confirmation of their mission’s completion. We know communications between the Archon and the Kett rulers was disrupted by the Archon, but we also know the Primus fully intends to restore them.” 

Evfra narrowed his eyes. “Who’s ‘we’?”

Ryder snorted. “The Moshae, who else? She’s been fixated on the origins of the Kett since her recovery.” 

“And,” he grumbled, “we agreed she should not be, as there are more urgent matters for her attention. Her health is recovered but not so well that she can be pulled in ten different directions.” 

She held up her hands in mock surrender. “I agree, but I’m not the one she’ll listen to. When you find that person, let me know.” 

Evfra snorted and ran a resigned hand over his face. Ryder was right, of course. Convincing the Moshae to do anything that was in her own best interest was a nigh impossible task.

“ _ Of additional interest, Pathfinder, I have compared the reconstructed drive core data to that recovered from the ancient Remnant station and Meridian itself. It seems the Jardaan also originated in Pegasus, or at least traveled to Heleus from that cluster.”  _

They all fell silent. It was Jaal that stirred first. “Does that mean...the Kett…”

“ _ There is not enough data to inform a hypothesis on the creation of the Kett. Thus far, there is nothing linking them to the Jardaan beyond the Archon’s interest in the Remnant technology.” _

Sara cleared her throat subtly. “The Pegasus cluster is massive, and ancient. Possibly one of the oldest objects in our local galactic cluster; older than anything in the Milky Way or Triangulum or the rest of Andromeda. Our scientists think it’s the remnant of a smaller dwarf galaxy that collided with other clusters or was caught by the galactic core’s gravitational pull. It had so many stars and shone so brightly at one point that early astronomers on Earth once thought it was part of our own galaxy.”

_ “Indeed. Also for consideration is the lack of complete data from Meridian. It is still in the process of recovery, translation, and reconstruction. The Kett data took far less time to compile, thus we can pinpoint their origin. As I was able to reconstruct, this is the oldest and most visited nav point in the flagship’s data system, thus far more likely to be either the Kett homeworld or their most prominent colony.”  _

“SAM,” Ryder said, “let’s send the Nexus team the go-ahead on the signal interception net, now that we have general directional coordinates.”

“Signal interception net?” Vetra Nyx asked curiously.

The science officer, Suvi, leaned forward excitedly. Her voice had a strange sort of purring accent to it that Evfra found pleasing, which made her science briefings far more tolerable than the Moshae’s impatient ill-suffering of fools. “Aye,” Suvi said, “we got the idea from…” her face fell slightly, and Ryder touched her shoulder softly. 

He now knew Sara well enough to see the intense struggle to maintain a stoic expression. He understood better than most Angara, but the degree to which many humans expected their leaders to be so emotionless was still surprising to him. The degree to which Sara expected it of herself was concerning. “The Reapers,” she said softly. “They were able to shut down communications between systems in the Milky Way, and even intra-cluster comms like they did in the Apien Crest. Only QEC bursts were able to get past their blackout net.” She shrugged slightly. “I suppose they could have blocked those too, but their goal was confusion and chaos: taking civilizations out at the knees to better...I don’t know...harvest them or whatever their intent was. Outside of that macabre note, the point is that from what we’ve observed, the Kett don’t have QEC capabilities beyond this cluster. The signals they received from their homeworld were bounced off a mass effect buoy system.” 

Fawkes stood a little straighter. “If they have mass effect comms buoys-”

Ryder grinned, and there was a feral edge to it. “They may have relays, yes. Or something very like.” 

“I fail to see how that’s a good thing,” Jaal noted. “If the Kett have ship relays like yours in the Milky Way, then they can get fleets here faster.” 

Sara met Evfra’s gaze and he knew precisely what she was thinking. “But the Nexus scientists know how to shut down a mass effect relay system,” he said. 

Suvi shifted. “Well. Yes. Theoretically. In the data packet from Commander Shepard and Dr. T’Soni, there are the blueprints for the crucible device they described. With SAM’s assistance, we can...well. Blow them up.” 

“The resultant explosions will completely wipe out the adjacent star systems. We’re talking massive supernova-level energy. We have no idea what other systems out there harbor life, and we’re not in the business of building mass weapons of genocidal destruction. This is a last and final resort if the clock’s run out on all other options.” Sara uncrossed her arms and sighed. “I’m not going to paint a pretty picture: this is an ugly idea. So let’s make sure we never have to use it, even if we do manage to narrow it down enough to target the Kett home system. I would say let’s hope or pray there’s another way, but we need to do more than that. We need to make another way.”

“I agree with the sentiment, Pathfinder.”

She met his gaze. “The Moshae doesn’t.” 

“The Moshae isn’t in charge of our army,” Evfra reminded her. “I respect her wisdom, but she’s not a soldier or a tactician.” 

Ryder dismissed the crew to get ready for planetfall on Voeld, but Evfra remained behind while everyone else filtered out. “I’m a little surprised to hear you agree with me,” she commented dryly when they were alone. 

“In general or about this particular issue?”

She offered him a thin half-smile. “Both, really.” 

He fell silent for a long moment. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t despise the Kett,” he told her finally. “A year or more ago, and I’d have taken any opportunity to get them out of our system and away from our people so not one more child had to suffer what I did. I’ve killed, and relentlessly done so. I don’t regret it. I don’t mourn the lives I took. I mourn now what they were before the Kett perverted them, but even before I knew the truth, I did not regret any of my actions.”

“I understand,” she said softly. “I’ve not been in your situation, I know. I can’t say how differently I’d feel if it were me. I can only say I understand.” 

The urge to push aside her empathy was far weaker than it had once been, now that he’d held her, kissed her, let her inside of his heart a little. Still, he avoided meeting her eyes. She hesitated, and he hated that he caused her such consternation. Yet that irritation only made it more difficult not to lash out. Evfra sighed at himself and moved a little farther away, looking out the observation windows at the stars surrounding the Nol system. 

“We’re not rebels any longer,” he said softly into the silence and distance she let him have. “I told you once that your war was different from ours, but now it’s the same. It’s changed. Everything’s changed. If we get the upper hand in this fight, we cannot become what the Kett are. I won’t let the soul of my people be destroyed like that.” 

She stayed quiet, and he could feel the tension in her body with his field. Once or twice she stopped herself from moving forward to him, and her uncertainty was evident in her reflection on the window. The old anger left him in a rush, and he only felt tired in its wake. “Ah, Sara,” he sighed, and within a heartbeat she was in his arms. “I’m sorry, I…”

“Hush,” Ryder admonished softly. “It’s hard. It’s always going to be hard. But I’m here anyway.” 

Yes, she was, and long after he’d stopped believing in the tales of their ancestor’s miracles. Strange and different yet glorious, beautiful, and brave. 

Evfra drew back only enough to tilt her chin up, and then he kissed her, hard. She responded with the loose-limbed, passionate abandon she’d shown him before and it made him weak to think someone wanted him that badly. Within moments, she was perched on the edge of the bulkhead, her back pressed to the observation window, legs wrapped around his. His hand sheltered the back of her fragile head from the hard surface as they deepened their kisses to erotic, tongue-tangling depths. 

Stars, he wanted to take her there and then, bury himself to the hilt inside her body and for once feel as though he had a place in this mad universe.

Instead, he pulled back, conscious of their semi-public location and the two hours until planetfall. Gently, he pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead as they both struggled to steady their breathing. Cheeks reddened, Sara stood and smoothed her hair and clothing. She cleared her throat in a way he’d come to recognize as rueful or self-deprecating. “I think,” she murmured, “we’re not going to have any problems with...ah...compatibility.” 

He marveled again how she could manage to surprise a laugh out of him when he hadn’t had anything to laugh over in years. “Not with our bodies, anyway,” she added, fingers skimming down his chest and abdomen. For such slender, delicate appendages, they could wring startlingly intense sensation out of him, even through the thick layer of his shirt. “My mouth might get in the way.” 

Evfra smirked. “I’m sure we can find better uses for it. Humans like to brag about their mouths a lot, from what I hear on Kadara.” 

The sultry grin she gave him in response nearly did him in. “It’s not bragging if you can back it up.” 

He ran a hand over his face and growled. “Exactly how I’m supposed to concentrate on the mission now is beyond me. Come on, troublemaker, let’s go get my planet back.” 

She grinned. “That’s a good nickname.” 


End file.
